A surfeit of wizards 1

 

Chapter 1

 

The visitor was one of those ferrety little rats of men I usually avoid; but he had used the, if you will pardon the phrase, ‘magic words’ of ‘It’s about your former master, Harmon.’

“What about Harmon?” I asked, so surprised the fellow actually followed me into the Tower, something few peasants will do, that I briefly forgot to ask his name. He looked like a townsman, wearing brighter colours than actual peasants, but all commons do usually fear the Tower. 

He looked about, his eyes bright, knowing, and observant. He appreciated the tankard of ale I sent for – somehow I did not think tea was his tipple – and took being presented with it by an unseen servant with remarkable aplomb. I was probably going to have to ask him his name at some point. He looked like a ferret.

Actually, I thought I knew it.

“I’ve seen you before,” I said. “You’re Orgey Spint.”

He actually looked gratified.

“You know my name!” he said.

I wouldn’t have done if I hadn’t been in the Blue Demon a few times with Harmon, where the fellow had it shouted at him all the time.

He might be gratified, but he hardened his face as he looked around.

“You do pretty well for yourself, Towermaster,” he said. “And news of your fame has spread since the unfortunate demise of Harmon. You’re better at selling yourself, getting put in so many ballads and chap books.”

“I am?” I asked, disconcerted.

“Are you telling me you don’t know?” he asked, derisively.

“I didn’t know,” I said. “I don’t generally purchase chap books or ballad sheets.” To be honest, I had better things to do; I was trying to finish enjoying my honeymoon with my dear wife, Chessina, so rudely interrupted by having to sort out those little elven problems we had barely returned from. In addition to teaching our new apprentice Harmana.

“And you didn’t pay to be featured, either?” he sneered.

“No,” I said, starting to get irritated. “Did you actually have anything to tell me about Harmon or am I going to defenestrate you?”

“That would be a very bad idea,” he said. “If I die, or disappear, certain knowledge will be released. But I’d rather you paid for the knowledge.”

“What knowledge?” I asked, in as controlled a way as I could, eyeing up his weaselly little throat as if I wanted to fasten my hands about it

I did, of course, but I do have a lot of self-control. People who survive time with the likes of demons or elves learn to keep themselves in check.

“I know how he came to be thrown from his horse,” said Spint.

“Well, why the hell didn’t you come forward before? And if, as I surmise, you consider the circumstances suspicious,” I said.

He looked really surprised.

“Are you telling me you didn’t pay for someone to kill him?” he asked.

I did grab him by the throat at that point. And let him go, immediately.

“No,” I said, with some effort, “I did not pay for someone to kill him. I loved him like a father, and if anyone killed him, I want to know, so that I can avenge him.”

“Frottorand’s bollocks!” he swore. The overgod of the various minor deities of the land was the reason so many men were named ‘Frottor’ to honour him, it being disrespectful to use his whole name, of course. He went on, “Will you swear it, on your magic?”

I did not really see why I should, for my ferret-faced visitor, but if someone had harmed my master, I wanted to know. I had a revelation. He was sick of being, at the beck and call of everyone, and wanted a lump sum to escape.

“I swear on my love of Arcana and on my magic that I had no part in the death of my former master, Harmon,” I said.

My staff’s orb lit up enthusiastically.

“Well, now!” said Spint, licking his lips. “And what will you give for the information?”

“At the moment, I’m inclined to offer you your hide, intact, and without blemish or extra embellishment,” I said.

“There’s no need to get nasty,” he said.

“Oh?” I said.

“Look, you’re famous enough that rich idiots fall over themselves to hire you,” he said.

“Yes, and I tell most of them to go fish up a tree,” I said. “I have no interest in fame, or wealth. And I despise most noblemen. I sell potions to those who need them, at cost, plus a little for my time, save when I waive my fee entirely.”

“You seriously need a marketing manager.”

“I seriously do not. You can tell me, and I owe you a favour; or you can withhold your information and I owe you an ill turn. You are aware of the fates of Lord Pennover and his mother?”

He shuddered.

“By the gods!” he cried. “I’ve not insulted you the way the ass Pennover did, to get turned into an ass for real, nor sent a demon after you as it’s said Lady Renilla did, to join her son as a ruddy beast of burden!”

“I don’t know,” I said. “Accusing me of murdering Harmon is pretty insulting. And I’m beginning to think you know nothing; for I used converse with the deceased to talk to Harmon, and he had no thought that he had been murdered.”

“Well, I do, so there,” he said. “I work in The Blue Demon Inn, in Stonebridge.” It was the nearest town, in fact, my birthplace, and imaginatively enough, there was a stone bridge over the river there. “Harmon hired a horse there.”

“Yes, I’ve never understood why he would do that, when he could have used a rug of travelling,” I said.

“He said he wanted to call on one Lord Dreflain, who is nervous of magic,” said the ferret. “So he hired a horse. He arrived on his carpet, and left it hovering in the air, rolled up. It was weird.”

“An unseen servant,” I said.

“Yeah, and it took the carpet away when he expired,” said Spint.

“If your information is good, when you finally get there,” I said, “How would you feel about being on a retainer for me... I’ll match your pay in the inn... to bring me any information you think might be interesting about people moving through the town, local notables and so on, and I’ll pay extra for how useful I find what you bring me?”

He brightened.

“I’m your man,” he said. “Getting away isn’t always easy.”

Not perhaps a very reliable man, but I do make a reasonably good living when I do do favours for nobles, and Chessina has been investing in various business ventures, about which I did not make too many close enquiries, and it really was about time to have a network of informants.  It adds to the air of omniscience which helps a wizard’s reputation, teamed with my favourite enigmatic smile.

“Do you write?” I asked.

He looked offended.

“Of course,” he answered.

“Good; I’ll provide you with enchanted parchment, which will write a duplicate for me as you write, with a rune to erase it when the page is full,” I said.

The duplicate I would copy out legibly as I doubted his writing was especially fluent.

“By the gods, magic is wonderful,” he said, awed. 

It’s a spell, cast on two sheets of parchment at once, using Quantamius’s Tangling, a useful spell making two things do the same thing at the same time, however far apart.

“I love magic,” I said, sincerely.

“Right. Well, I ain’t surprised Harmon took you as an apprentice, you was a clever little boy,” he said. “That’s why I thought it was you as done him in; it being Verro Horseman who I saw tinkering with his saddle, he was Verro Penson when you were a nipper. You played with him.”

“No, he made me play with him; he was a bully, like his father,” I said. Oh. That explained one reason I had taken an immediate dislike to Lord Pennover; Verro and Pen are some of the names derived from that fairly common name.  He put me in mind of my youthful tormentor, Verro.  I went on, “You think he put a burr under his saddle or something?”

“There was no burr,” said Orgey. I must be starting to like him; I was think of him by his first name. It was one of the hypocoristics of Ogier; I was named one of the other versions, Orgo. “I did check, on account of being suspicious. But the saddle was loose. Now, there’s some horses will puff up, just so the girth is put on loose, to throw the unwary; and you have to be aware of them. But Old Whitey wasn’t like that. And an experienced horseman would not be caught, but I don’t think Harmon rode much?”

“No, he wasn’t much for riding,” I said.  “Did anyone else but Verro approach the horse?”

“No, he was the ostler handling it,” said Orgey. “But he’s open to bribes, is Verro.”

“Well, I imagine it might have been a petty revenge on his own account, I suppose,” I said, reluctantly. “Harmon found me when I manifested magic for the first time, when I stuck Verro’s feet to the cobbles, and Harmon was in Stonebridge, and unstuck him, and gave him a lecture on bullying children smaller than him. If Verro thought that Harmon had glued his feet down, not me, I can see why he would be happy to drop him on the ground ignominiously. That he struck his head and died not being a circumstance Verro would have forseen, being rather limited. Which is like saying that the river is rather damp,” I added, viciously.

Orgey sniggered.

“He’s as thick as a well-dried turd,” he said.

“That, too,” I agreed. “Well, I shall look through Harmon’s diary, and see what he wanted to see Lord Dreflain about, which might hold a clue. I suppose you’d better stay to supper now you’re here. Are you afraid to sleep in the tower?”

“Naow, I ain’t one of them fools what think magic is dangerous. I mean, magic is dangerous, but so are horses if you don’t respect them, or a mill if you’re a miller, and I know if you tell me ‘don’t go here’ I’d be an idiot, or more likely dead, to not listen.”

I found his attitude rather refreshing. Magic is a tool, a dangerous tool to the unwary, but if respected, will not kill.

“I think you’d better stay in the room I give you to sleep in, and I’ll fetch you for breakfast,” I said. “We rise early, you need not fear getting back to the inn. Did you bring a horse?”

“Mule,” said Orgey. “I’ll go see to it. And, er, thanks for the hospitality. Plenty wouldn’t even have offered me ale. I don’t give loyalty lightly, but you got it.”

“Thank you,” I said.

I actually believed him. Simple acts of courtesy can have long reaching effects.

 

Naturally I had to explain Orgey to Chessina when she came in from playing with our ward, Elizelle. Chessina had a serene look to her; surrogate motherhood suited her. Harmana, our apprentice, was with her.

“Orgey believes Harmon was murdered, dear,” I said. “He’s just become my employee, as an informant.”

“Very wise,” said Chessina. “A great man can never have too many informants. I keep telling you so.”

“And I listened,” I said.

Orgey was mesmerised by Chessina, who had fortunately not decided to surprise me with the appearance of her horns and tail.

“Your lady wife is the most beautiful woman in the world,” he said, awed.

I preened.

So did Chessina. No woman minds being admired.

“Are we going to avenge your master, Master?” asked Harmana.

“That’s the idea,” I said. “But we need to find out some background information before we can act.”

I was not sorry to send Orgey on his way the next morning, as I had work to do, and did not want him hanging about.

I also did not want him corrupting Harmana. Chessina was capable enough of that, and the child was now happily grubby when she was not at lessons, from climbing trees, rolling down slopes, messing about in streams and the other sorts of fun she had been denied as a royal princess, and a lot more wholesome fun than if she had listened wide-eyed to the sort of gossip Orgey had subjected us to over our two meals with him. At least he did not see magic everywhere as many commons do, and commented that the sickness of Mayor Renil Purseclose’s hogs was more likely to be his pinchpenny attitude over how often their straw was changed than any kind of sending by Widow Aria Tailor, however much she called the mayor down. The tale of the hogs running mad was amusing though, especially as they disrupted the mayor’s parade.

“Sounds like poisoning in something they ate,” Chessina had commented. “Didn’t Wisewoman Matille have to tell off Moro of the hill for letting his hogs eat cherry leaves gathered with hay?”

Orgey had laughed.

“I’ll tell the town that one, if I may,” he said.

“Do,” said Chessina. “We wizards get blamed for enough; might as well set the record straight as to where the blame lies.”

 

oOoOo

 

When Orgey had left, with his charmed piece of parchment, I turned my mind to reading Harmon’s diary.

It was essentially the last entry.

I suppose I shall have to do something about Lady Sheyla’s request. I can’t believe that idiot Dreflain seriously thinks that Sheyla is putting spells on him. He flatters himself that the merry widow would consider him a suitable fifth husband. Now if he had been her husband and had accused her of trying to poison him, that would not surprise me, but using some kind of mind-control spell to make him desire her? The fool doubtless managed to get the hots for her on his own, though convincing him of that will be difficult. I may have to come up with some spurious but comforting ritual to assure him that he is protected from magical wiles, and point out that if he still desires her, presumably the only wiles are those of a beautiful and accomplished woman which is the oldest magic of all, and the province of the Goddess Agapa. Not that love and lust are the same thing, but there are connexions. I am more concerned about why Sheyla has asked me to convince Dreflain that she is not involved in any magic directed at him.  She was adamant that I call on her when I had seen him.

I do not wish to be too presumptuous, but I do wonder whether this is an excuse on Sheyla’s part to involve me in her affairs, I am not ill-looking, and to marry the Towermaster would be a social feather in her cap, having been turned down by Dragovar. She will be disappointed. I have no desire to ally myself with a socially-climbing noblewoman with the proclivities of a street-whore. I wish Lords Bertor and Marel luck of her, the fools. At least Dreflain has the sense to want to break away.

 

I had heard my master mention Sheyla. He was inclined to say that he would have said that her morals were as loose as the waist-string of a whore’s drawers, save that he suspected they had gone so far past that as to be pooling around her feet for the lack of any string at all.

Should I go and see Dreflain? No, he was unlikely to be likely to have had anything against Harmon, and probably wasn’t even expecting him.

I needed to speak to Verro. And intimidate him.

He had been terrified by me glueing him to the ground. A show of power should have him babbling all he knew.