the unwanted elves 1

 the long-awaited sequel to Simon's 'the Unexpected Demon' - these are the separate chapters he sent me. I have [a] been stitching them together [b] dealing with grammatical matters, as Simon was also taught by the 'let the lovies find out with free expression' method , and trying to get it out of calibri double spaced which my computer converted it into. If I hadn't previously mentioned it, I hate Win 11 and all its works. 

He's worked really hard, and since January has done a major rewrite on the first 8 chapters and has carried on to be on chapter 32, which might be the last or might be the penultimate chapter. 

Unwanted Elves

Chapter 1

 

"Hello Dragovar," I said silkily, seeing him waiting as Chessina and I walked into the vestibule of the Royal Tower of Wizardry, "I hope the Royal Wizard has an exceptionally good reason for disturbing our honeymoon."

I saw him wince at my tone, we are friends, actually he is my best friend, but there are limits.

"It's the elves," he began.

"Yes, they're annoying gits," I interrupted, "what have they done that requires the Towermaster and his Apprentice, who is also his bride come without delay to the capital?"

"Hello Tasayne," said Chessina, catching sight of Dragovar's apprentice and consort, "shall we go and have tea while the boys bitch at each other?"

"Oh," replied Tasayne, "I was hoping to hear His Snideness Towermaster Castamir in full flow." By the way, what have you done to your hair, Castamir, It’s much nicer,” remarked Tasayne.

“Chessina decided she didn’t like my previous hair style, so she changed it.” I replied.

“Castamir dear, you didn’t have a style. You just hacked off any locks that got in your eyes or threatened to drangle in a potion. It’s much nicer now.” She added in satisfaction, with just a touch of smugness.

I suddenly noticed that Dragovar no longer had the moustache and goatee beard I was used to. It made him look much younger.

“I see I am not the only one to have been follicularly rearranged.” I remarked.

“It seems both our ladies have definite preferences over our appearance.” Dragovar replied with a certain amount of resignation.

"Perhaps we should take tea now," Dragovar continued, doubtless seeking to soothe my irritation.

"Tsk, tsk, Dragovar," I reproved, "you are disappointing your lady love. When is the wedding by the way, Chessina and I didn't receive our invitations?"

Dragovar looked about wildly. If you are going to discommode me, I thought, I'll discommode you back. Besides, he really needed to regularise Tasayne's status so that she didn't get treated badly by the so-called ladies of the Royal Court. I know she could turn them into the flatulent toads they so closely resembled, but their husbands might object, or they might not. In any case I doubted their majesties King Beremar and Queen Silavelle would relish a croaking chorus at court, even if said chorus would produce more sense and erudition than its members had formerly. Chessina took pity on Dragovar and taking his arm, led him upstairs into the sitting room.

"Ring for tea, there's a dear, Tasayne," Chessina began, "but you really need to regularise Tasayne's position Dragovar. If any of the . . .females at court upset her , I would have to . . . take steps to prevail on them not to. You do love Tasayne, don't you?"

"Yes, of course, but . . . " Dragovar trailed off.

Chessina was no longer a demon, as she and I, with much help from Dragovar and Tasayne had recovered her soul. But even so Chessina still had many of the instincts of a demon, manipulation being one of them.

"Perhaps we could leave the reordering of Dragovar and Tasayne's domestic arrangements until we find out what they want us for, my dear," I said, winking at Chessina to show I was only teasing.

"Yes, ah . . . the elves," began Dragovar.

"We'd got that," I interrupted, again.

Chessina poked me.

"Behave, Castamir," she admonished me, "please continue Dragovar, we are listening. At least those of us with any pretentions to intelligence are doing so."

I can never resist my wife. Besides, she knows where I am ticklish, and fond as I am of Dragovar, I would hate to giggle incontinently at him.

“What is the problem exactly?” asked Chessina.

“Periodically, the northern elves decide that they own the Great Forest in addition to their own lands,” said Dragovar. "Then some of them move in."

“Move in?” queried Chessina. “What about the villages within the forest where there are human foresters and hunters?”

“Well, that’s it, Chessina,” said Dragovar. “When I say ‘move in’ I mean just that.  They deal with any human settlement by sending twenty-four hours written warning to vacate.  Written in elvish. And then when the time is up, they start throwing in magic acorns and anyone caught up in the growth of a three-second oak tree becomes wood. Not a nice way to go.  And anyone still alive is run off or slaughtered as ‘trespassers’. They call it reconstructive reforestation. We call it combat botany. It’s nasty.”

“What do you want us to do, Dragovar?” asked Chessina. “Give succour to any who escape?”

"I was hoping you might go as an embassy to the elven king, together with whoever you felt necessary. I am authorised to offer you the aid of any of His Majesty's diplomats," said Dragovar.

I refrained from asking what I could use them for, hat racks perhaps? I didn't want to upset him.

"You could explain that the whole of the Great Forest inside our borders comes under the Towermaster’s protection,” Dragovar continued.

 “But it doesn’t; not according to the deeds I have,” I said.  “It is a matter of the kingdom growing into the Great Forest. The elves call it An Gwyth Meer, the great trees, and though their kingdom, Annethfae, is mentioned separately, it is really no man’s land.”

“The dwarves won’t like it either,” said Dragovar. “They pass through the lands we would claim, to trade.”

“I don’t mind treating with the elves, but I cannot claim it as part of the Tower’s protection,” I explained. “They get snippy about others assuming on such things, even if they assume themselves. You recall that I researched the origin of the Tower, and the ownership of the land of the village of Fair Pastures and who had responsibility for it?” I asked.

“You said that the elves had given it in perpetuity to the first Towermaster for a signal service,” said Dragovar.

I nodded.

“Well, I went digging a bit further into the older scrolls ... there’s a nifty spell on them, by the way, which protects them from drying out, succumbing to damp, getting eaten by silverfish, mice or rats or just plain fading,” I added.

“I will like to learn that spell if you will teach me, but get on with it,” said Dragovar. He can be so impatient at times. Even when sidetracked.

“Of course, Royal Wizard,” I said, with a courtly bow.  Did I hear him grinding his teeth?

"Stop being a showman and give," said Chessina, her poking finger held at the ready.

"When I dug further, and as towermaster I have access to all the records" I continued, "I discovered that the service, and I still don't really know what that was, revolves around the fact that the elves are a mongrel race. Which is, incidentally one reason why they are so opposed to any of their kind forming a union with a human."

"Now, that surprises me," said Dragovar.

"Please get comfortable, Dragovar," I said getting to my feet, "as I'm about to lecture at you. If the elves knew I knew this they would be spitting nails. Elves are a magically stabilised race in descent from the truefae – and humans,”

“Bloody hell!” said Dragovar.

“Nearly,” I said.  “The Truefae, or Fae, are akin to demons; I’m not precisely sure of the relationship. Whether it was merely a choice of locale and ideology which separate them, but where demons are quite indecently solid, the fae are somehow ... mutable and less connected with permanence.  There is a mutability which demons can manage, changing their appearance, hiding demonic features and so on. But the fae pursued esoteric and probably dangerous magics in order to live in airy realms, and they lost connection with solid bodies.  Their forms are tenuous to a greater or lesser extent, less so in the case of those who have tied themselves to nature, like the woodfae – woses, dryads, naiads and the like.”

“You’re wandering off the point, dear,” said Chessina.

“No, it’s all important background,” I said “Because the fae, or the high fae as they like to be called, feed from the life-force of their kindred.  The lifespans of dryads are tied to their trees, but the fae can feed from both.  They can also feed from elves – so long as they have strong emotions.  And herein lies the nature of elvenkind, having broken away from the fae. The fae are inclined more to neutrality than the evil of demons, and the elves try to fool you into thinking they are also truly neutral and in tune with nature.  Rather, they are aloof and indifferent. This shields them from having their life-force tapped by their less solid kin as it shortens their life-spans.  For those elves who fall in love with humans, this is a small price to pay.  For those more aloof, such is anathema.”

"As the elves are so keen to keep all this secret," said Chessina, "I may have a solution to the problem."

"What is it?" Dragovar almost yelled.

“Why, blackmail them,” said Chessina, happily. “Let them know that if they don’t capitulate, we will tell everyone their origins.”

"Wonderful!" I cried, "can you imagine what the dwarves would say if they found out? They already consider elves a bunch of stuck-up snobs, which they are of course."

"An excellent idea, Chessina," said Dragovar, with a satisfied expression, "please go and sort it out at once."

"I've outsmarted myself, haven't I?" said Chessina ruefully.

"I'm afraid so, love," I commiserated, "still while we do so, Dragovar will have time to make all the preparations for his and Tasayne's wedding."

I was hugged and squealed at by both Chessina and Tasayne.

Dragovar gave me a jaundiced look. If he was going to interrupt my honeymoon, I was going to disturb his comfortable inertia.

"I've been examining the amulet you took from Fishface," said Dragovar in a desperate, and successful attempt to change the subject.

Fishface, was the name I had given the demon who had hidden Chessina's soul, not daring to use his name in case it drew his attention. His demonic truename, which gave power over him was unknown to us.

"What did you find?" I asked, all thoughts of weddings vanishing from my mind.

We were interrupted by servants bringing tea, and it was a measure of my impatience that I wanted Dragovar's news rather than tea.

"Well?" I continued once the servants had withdrawn.

"Patience, dear boy, patience," said Dragovar, delicately sipping tea, "learn to appreciate the amenities of civilised living. We are not in your rural fastness now."

As I was spluttering at this, Chessina interjected.

"Please stop teasing Castamir, Dragovar," she said, "Tasayne and I want to know too. Besides we all know you want to display your erudition."

"You know me too well, minx," replied Dragovar, without heat.

"I don't think you should call my lady wife a minx, Dragovar," I said, "even if she is one." I continued, winking at Chessina.

"Please could you tell us your news, Dragovar," said Tasayne, somewhat plaintively, "some of us want to know."

"I can deny my fiancée nothing," said Dragovar sententiously, and continued hastily as several eyebrows were raised. "As far as I can determine, the amulet is of elven manufacture, it has their filigreed style, and the runes are written in elvish. I'm reasonably certain it wasn't made by demons. I've studied several items of demonic manufacture, and devilish items too, come to that."

"Where are . . . ," I began, half rising from my  seat.

"As I was about to say," continued Dragovar, "all such items are safely stored in shielded containers in the magically warded levels of the tower. Near to where Renilla was imprisoned before we questioned her."

"We are going to need to borrow some of those items, Dragovar," said Chessina with a strange expression on her face. It was the expression of someone who had just had a piece of knowledge unfold in their mind with absolute crystalline certainty. I ought to know, I've had that experience several times.

"What information has the divine Arcana, goddess of magic implanted in your mind, my dear?" I asked. I was, I confess, somewhat worried. Arcana didn't do such things on a whim, but when something important was in the offing. I suddenly realised, with something of a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, that although regaining Chessina's soul was the most important thing in the world to me, it was also important enough for Arcana to get involved directly. Why? It seemed that we had stumbled into a much larger, and more dangerous universe than we realised.

"Just that we are going to need some of the items Dragovar has squirreled away," Chessina replied, "but I don't know which ones or why. Arcana never mentioned this when we spoke."

"You never did tell me much of what you and Arcana discussed, my love," I commented.

"Be fair, husband," said Chessina with an impish grin, "we got married shortly thereafter, and were . . . rather busy subsequently."

I could feel my cheeks burn with what was doubtless a fiery blush.

"Arcana did say that Fishface was a matter of great concern to both her and Emaxtiphrael," said Chessina.

"I didn't think Fishface ranked that high in the demonic pecking order," I mused.

"He doesn't," said Chessina firmly, "but somehow he is able to rip a soul from its body and place it in the Halls of Waiting for, well no-one knows how long, not even Emaxtiphrael who rules there. And that has both he and Arcana worried as a demon shouldn't be able to even enter the halls."

"Did you speak to Emaxtiphrael?" asked Dragovar.

"No. From what I understand, that would be against protocol," said Chessina, earnestly. "The halls of waiting are a central part of Emaxtiphrael's portfolio and so Arcana had to ask his permission to go there. But I am tied to Arcana and so it was proper for her to speak to me rather than for Emaxtiphrael to do so."

"Deities have portfolios?" I enquired, somewhat flippantly. I didn't find it comfortable to be so deeply involved in the affairs of the gods.

"Oh yes," said Chessina, "and from what I understand are adhered to pretty rigidly. What might happen to the universe if the gods had a serious spat?"

"Did you talk about anything else?" asked Tasayne. I had a sudden vision of Arcana, Chessina and Tasayne indulging in girl-talk. What might they discuss? I hastily thrust the thought from me, such things are not for the minds of mortal men.

"Arcana told me that I would need to impersonate a demon and so I can still have horns and tail when I need them," Chessina said, "should I also mention that I can have a forked tongue if I wish?" Chessina flicked out the aforementioned tongue after saying this. Tasayne looked very thoughtful and I swear Dragovar went boss eyed for a moment.

"Perhaps you shouldn't mention that," I muttered.

"As I was . . . reborn, I suppose," continued Chessina, "my old demonic Truename is no longer tied to me, and I do still appear to have my demonic senses. Arcana told me that while we were fighting Fishface, she retrieved something  that allowed her to do so. Although I can go without sleep for quite a while if I need to, I must sleep periodically. I also need to eat and drink regularly, I can no longer survive on just sex."

Seeing the startled expressions of Dragovar and Tasayne, Chessina continued.

"Such a vigorous boy," she cooed fluttering her eyelashes, "made a girl feel as though she was completely full."

As my face once again burned, Tasayne spoke.

"Chessina, don't you think you are embarrassing Castamir a bit too much?"

"Probably. I'm sorry, love," Chessina said, holding out her hand to me, "Oh, bother, another bit of Arcana's information just unfolded itself. The elves are tied in somehow to demonic political shenanigans. Wonderful." 

 

                                            

 

A bit of Castamir fanfiction.

 I had this idea about Harmon's death, and it seemed to me to be a good idea to follow that up. this can stand alone as a short story, but Simon is considering remodelling it to use as an opening to book 3. 

 

 

The visitor was one of those ferrety little rats of men I usually avoid; but he had used the, if you will pardon the phrase, ‘magic words’ of ‘It’s about your former master, Harmon.’

“What about Harmon?” I asked, surprised the fellow actually followed me into the Tower, something few peasants will do. He looked like a townsman, wearing brighter colours than actual peasants, but all commons do usually fear the Tower. 

He looked about, his eyes bright, knowing, and observant. He appreciated the tankard of ale I sent for – somehow I did not think tea was his tipple – and took being presented with it by an unseen servant with remarkable aplomb.

“You do pretty well for yourself, Towermaster,” he said. “And news of your fame has spread since the unfortunate demise of Harmon. You’re better at selling yourself, getting put in so many ballads and chap books.”

“I am?” I asked, disconcerted.

“Are you telling me you don’t know?” he asked, derisively.

“I didn’t know,” I said. “I don’t generally purchase chap books or ballad sheets.”

“And you didn’t pay to be featured, either?” he sneered.

“No,” I said, starting to get irritated. “Did you actually have anything to tell me about Harmon or am I going to defenestrate you?”

“That would be a very bad idea,” he said. “If I die, or disappear, certain knowledge will be released. But I’d rather you paid for the knowledge.”

“What knowledge?” I asked, in as controlled a way as I could, eyeing up his weasely little throat as if I wanted to fasten my hands about it

I did, of course, but I do have a lot of self-control. People who survive time with the likes of demons or elves learn to keep themselves in check.

“I know how he came to be thrown from his horse,” said the ferret.

“Well, why the hell didn’t you come forward before? And if, as I surmise, you consider the circumstances suspicious,” I said.

He looked really surprised.

“Are you telling me you didn’t pay for someone to kill him?” he asked.

I did grab him by the throat at that point. And let him go, immediately.

“No,” I said, with some effort, “I did not pay for someone to kill him. I loved him like a father, and if anyone killed him, I want to know, so that I can avenge him.”

“Frottorand’s bollocks!” he swore. The overgod of the various minor deities of the land was the reason so many men were named ‘Frottor’ to honour him, it being disrespectful to use his whole name, of course. He went on, “Will you swear it, on your magic?”

I did not really see why I should, for ferret-face, but if someone had harmed my master, I wanted to know.

“I swear on my love of Arcana and on my magic that I had no part in the death of my former master, Harmon,” I said.

My staff’s orb lit up enthusiastically.

“Well, now!” said Ferret-face, licking his lips. “And what will you give for the information?”

“At the moment, I’m inclined to offer you your hide, intact, and without blemish or extra embellishment,” I said.

“There’s no need to get nasty,” he said.

“Oh?” I said.

“Look, you’re famous enough that rich idiots fall over themselves to hire you,” he said.

“Yes, and I tell most of them to go fish up a tree,” I said. “I have no interest in fame, or wealth. And I despise most noblemen. I sell potions to those who need them, at cost, plus a little for my time, save when I waive my fee entirely.”

“You seriously need a marketing manager.”

“I seriously do not. You can tell me, and I owe you a favour; or you can withhold your information and I owe you an ill turn. You are aware of the fates of Lord Pennover and his mother?”

He shuddered.

“By the gods!” he cried. “I’ve not insulted you the way the ass Penover did, to get turned into an ass for real, nor sent a demon after you as it’s said Lady Renilla did, to join her son as a ruddy beast of burden!”

“I don’t know,” I said. “Accusing me of murdering Harmon is pretty insulting. And I’m beginning to think you know nothing; for I used speak with dead to talk to Harmon, and he had no thought that he had been murdered.”

“Well, I do, so there,” he said. “I work in The Blue Demon Inn, in Stonebridge.” It was the nearest town, in fact, my birthplace, and imaginatively enough, there was a stone bridge over the river there. “Harmon hired a horse there.”

“Yes, I’ve never understood why he would do that, when he could have used a rug of travelling,” I said.

“He said he wanted to call on one Lord Dreflain, who is nervous of magic,” said the ferret. “So he hired a horse. He arrived on his carpet, and left it hovering in the air, rolled up. It was weird.”

“An unseen servant,” I said.

“Yeah, and it took the carpet away when he expired,” said the ferret.

I was probably going to have to ask him his name at some point.

Actually, I thought I knew it.

“I’ve seen you before,” I said. “You’re Orgey Spint.”

He actually looked gratified.

“You know my name!” he said.

I wouldn’t have done if I hadn’t been in the Blue Demon a few times with Harmon, where the fellow had it shouted at him all the time. I had a revelation. He was sick of being, at the beck and call of everyone, and wanted a lump sum to escape.

“If your information is good, when you finally get there,” I said, “How would you feel about being on a retainer for me... I’ll match your pay in the inn... to bring me any information you think might be interesting about people moving through the town, local notables and so on, and I’ll pay extra for how useful I find what you bring me?”

He brightened.

“I’m your man,” he said. “Getting away isn’t always easy.”

Not perhaps a very reliable man, but I do make a reasonably good living when I do do favours for nobles, and Chessina has been investing in various business ventures, about which I did not make too many close enquiries, and it really was about time to have a network of informants.  It adds to the air of omniscience which helps a wizard’s reputation, teamed with my favourite enigmatic smile.

“Do you write?” I asked.

He looked offended.

“Of course,” he answered.

“Good; I’ll provide you with enchanted parchment, which will write a duplicate for me as you write, with a rune to erase it when the page is full,” I said.

The duplicate I would copy out legibly as I doubted his writing was especially fluent.

“By the gods, magic is wonderful,” he said, awed. 

It’s a spell, cast on two sheets of parchment at once, using Quantamius’s Tangling, a useful spell making two things do the same thing at the same time, however far apart.

“I love magic,” I said, sincerely.

“Right. Well,  I ain’t surprised Harmon took you as an apprentice, you was a clever little boy,” he said. “That’s why I thought it was you as done him in; it being Verro Horseman who I saw tinkering with his saddle, he was Verro Penson when you were a nipper. You played with him.”

“No, he made me play with him; he was a bully, like his father,” I said. Oh. That explained one reason I had taken an immediate dislike to Lord Penover; Verro and Pen are some of the names derived from that fairly common name.  He put me in mind of my youthful tormentor, Verro.  I went on, “You think he put a burr under his saddle or something?”

“There was no burr,” said Orgey. “I did check, on account of being suspicious. But the saddle was loose. Now, there’s some horses will puff up, just so the girth is put on loose, to throw the unwary; and you have to be aware of them. But Old Whitey wasn’t like that. And an experienced horseman would not be caught, but I don’t think Harmon rode much?”

“No, he wasn’t much for riding,” I said.  “Did anyone else but Verro approach the horse?”

“No, he was the ostler handling it,” said Orgey. “But he’s open to bribes, is Verro.”

“Well, I imagine it might have been a petty revenge on his own account, I suppose,” I said, reluctantly. “Harmon found me when I manifested magic for the first time, when I stuck Verro’s feet to the cobbles, and Harmon was in Stonebridge, and unstuck him, and gave him a lecture on bullying children smaller than him. If Verro thought that Harmon had glued his feet down, not me, I can see why he would be happy to drop him on the ground ignominiously. That he struck his head and died not being a circumstance Verro would have forseen, being rather limited. Which is like saying that the river is rather damp,” I added, viciously.

Orgey sniggered.

“He’s as thick as a well-dried turd,” he said.

“That, too,” I agreed. “Well, I shall look through Harmon’s diary, and see what he wanted to see Lord Dreflain about, which might hold a clue. I suppose you’d better stay to supper now you’re here. Are you afraid to sleep in the tower?”

“Naow, I ain’t one of them fools what think magic is dangerous. I mean, magic is dangerous, but so are horses if you don’t respect them, or a mill if you’re a miller, and I know if you tell me ‘don’t go here’ I’d be an idiot, or more likely dead, to not listen.”

I found his attitude rather refreshing. Magic is a tool, a dangerous tool to the unwary, but if respected, will not kill.

“I think you’d better stay in the room I give you to sleep in, and I’ll fetch you for breakfast,” I said. “We rise early, you need not fear getting back to the inn. Did you bring a horse?”

“Mule,” said Orgey. “I’ll go see to it. And, er, thanks for the hospitality. Plenty wouldn’t even have offered me ale. I don’t give loyalty lightly, but you got it.”

“Thank you,” I said.

I actually believed him. Simple acts of courtesy can have long reaching effects.

 

Naturally I had to explain Orgey to Chessina when she came in from playing with our ward, Elizelle. Chessina was visibly pregnant now, and had a serene look to her. Vellera, our apprentice, was with her.

“Orgey believes Harmon was murdered, dear,” I said. “He’s just become my employee, as an informant.”

“Very wise,” said Chessina. “A great man can never have too many informants. I keep telling you so.”

“And I listened,” I said.

Orgey was mesmerised by Chessina, who had fortunately not decided to surprise me with the appearance of her horns and tail.

“Your lady wife is the most beautiful woman in the world,” he said, awed.

I preened.

So did Chessina. No woman minds being admired.

“Are we going to avenge your master, Master?” asked Vellera.

“That’s the idea,” I said. “But we need to find out some background information before we can act.”

I was not sorry to send Orgey on his way the next morning, as I had work to do, and did not want him hanging about.

I also did not want him corrupting Vellera. Chessina was capable enough of that, and the child was now happily grubby when she was not at lessons, from climbing trees, rolling down slopes, messing about in streams and the other sorts of fun she had been denied as a royal princess, and a lot more wholesome fun than if she had listened wide-eyed to the sort of gossip Orgey had subjected us to over our two meals with him. At least he did not see magic everywhere as many commons do, and commented that the sickness of Mayor Renil Purseclose’s hogs was more likely to be his pinchpenny attitude over how often their straw was changed than any kind of sending by Widow Aria Tailor, however much she called the mayor down. The tale of the hogs running mad was amusing though, especially as they disrupted the mayor’s parade.

“Sounds like poisoning in something they ate,” Chessina had commented. “Didn’t Wisewoman Matille have to tell off Moro of the hill for letting his hogs eat cherry leaves gathered with hay?”

Orgey had laughed.

“I’ll tell the town that one, if I may,” he said.

“Do,” said Chessina. “We wizards get blamed for enough; might as well set the record straight as to where the blame lies.”

 

oOoOo

 

When Orgey had left, with his charmed piece of parchment, I turned my mind to reading Harmon’s diary.  

It was essentially the last entry.

I suppose I shall have to do something about Lady Sheyla’s request. I can’t believe that idiot Dreflain seriously thinks that Sheyla is putting spells on him. He flatters himself that the merry widow would consider him a suitable fifth husband. Now if he had been her husband and had accused her of trying to poison him, that would not surprise me, but using some kind of mind-control spell to make him desire her? The fool doubtless managed to get the hots for her on his own, though convincing him of that will be difficult. I may have to come up with some spurious but comforting ritual to assure him that he is protected from magical wiles, and point out that if he still desires her, presumably the only wiles are those of a beautiful and accomplished woman which is the oldest magic of all, and the province of the Goddess Agapa. Not that love and lust are the same thing, but there are connexions. I am more concerned about why Sheyla has asked me to convince Dreflain that she is not involved in any magic directed at him.  She was adamant that I call on her when I had seen him.

I do not wish to be too presumptuous, but I do wonder whether this is an excuse on Sheyla’s part to involve me in her affairs, I am not ill-looking, and to marry the Towermaster would be a social feather in her cap, having been turned down by Dragovar. She will be disappointed. I have no desire to ally myself with a socially-climbing noblewoman with the proclivities of a gutter-whore. I wish Lords Bertor and Marel luck of her, the fools. At least Dreflain has the sense to want to break away.

 

I had heard my master mention Sheyla. He was inclined to say that he would have said that her morals were as loose as the waist-string of a whore’s drawers, save that he suspected they had gone so far past that as to be pooling around her feet for the lack of any string at all.

Should I go and see Dreflain? No, he was unlikely to be likely to have had anything against Harmon, and probably wasn’t even expecting him.

I needed to speak to Verro. And intimidate him.

He had been  terrified by me glueing him to the ground. A show of power should have him babbling all he knew.

I took the carpet into town, and took a room at the Blue Demon.

The sign was even less well painted than I remembered. Given that demons are known for their mutability, the grossness of the form was not too inaccurate, but the execution of the painting was poor enough that it might just as well have been meant to be a dragon. It had too many teeth. Mind, there was the demon we knew as Pointy-teeth... but that had been at court, not far away in the provinces like this.

I drew a fake circle of summoning on the floor, set an invisible servant there holding a censor of sparkles, a magical toy which produces sparkles of light when shaken or when magic is nearby. I had borrowed it from Elizelle, having made it for her, as something to soothe and occupy her in her cot. With the invisible servant instructed to rotate slowly, moving it up and down from floor level to about six feet up, it produced a fair facsimile of a magical gate opening.  Why waste serious spells when the little inadequate could be impressed by less? I had learned a lot of showmanship from Chessina.

I called for Zelly, the chambermaid, and with largesse she was persuaded to send Verro to my room.

“I don’t mind so much him handling me with a good vail,” she said.

I doubled her tip; I did not know about the handling.

“Threaten to shave him next time he passes out drunk,” I suggested. “All over. And not to be too careful of anything that sticks out.”

She giggled.

“Thank you kindly, Towermaster, I’ll do that,” she said.

 

Verro turned up with an ingratiating look on his face.

“What might I do for the Towermaster?” he asked. He did not seem to recognise me. I suppose it had been a long time, and now I was taller than he was, and broader of shoulder. He was still fat, though. His teeth were in worse condition now, as he grinned and cringed simultaneously. I had a moment’s sudden revelation that he did not see Orgo Plumber, who had been his punching bag, but Castamir, Towermaster, mighty wizard, and Seriously Scary Person. He was eyeing my staff and the manifestation of my unseen servant playing with my foster-daughter’s toy. Incongruously, I wanted to giggle.

“Verro,” I said. “You were seen slacking my predecessor’s girth when he hired a horse from this inn. I’ve had rather more weighty things on my mind, like dealing with demons and stopping an elven war, but now I’ve turned my mind to why you murdered my former master. You will tell me the truth, all the truth, or I may decide to use the portal I have there and send you to... well, let us just say, you would not enjoy it.”

“Oh mighty wizard!  It wasn’t me, well, I mean, I was paid to do it, I never thought he would die, I was ready to laugh at him, because he did me a bad turn once, and when Lord Bertor said he wanted him delayed and injured perhaps, I did it!”

“And what do you count a bad turn that Harmon did you?” I demanded.

“He stuck my feet to the ground to stop me putting a snotty orphan in his place!” he yammered.

“No, actually, he didn’t,” I said. “The snotty orphan found he had magical powers, and Harmon released you and took him as his apprentice. Where I became more powerful than you can possibly imagine.” I stood to tower over him. It’s amazing what good food in the growing years of the teens do for a lad.

He soiled himself both ways.

“Oh, by all the gods! You have come to take revenge! Please don’t hurt me, I swear on Frottorand, Frottillina, Ogroval, Agapa and all the other gods never to hurt any more people smaller than me!”

“That rather suggests you have been hurting people in the meantime,” I said. “Why should I forgive you?”

He sobbed and knelt, and whinneyed like one of the horses he cared for.

“You are revolting,” I said. “I really can’t be bothered with you. So long as you tell me all about this Bertor who hired you to delay Harmon.”

“He wanted to propose to Lady Sheyla before Harmon did, because he knew he had no chance as a rival to the Towermaster,” sobbed Verro. “And he gave me a bonus because Harmon died!  And he married Lady Sheyla, and they went to the capital to visit her cousin, Lady Renilla, Duchess of Osierleet. But they came home, and she’s aged beyond all recognition, and Bertor has taken to drink. That’s all I know.”

“It’s enough,” I said. “I lay a geas on you, by stone and stream, by sun and moon, by tree and grass to place into the poor box of the Sisters of Frottellina the sum of the bonus.”

No of course the geas had no power; I wasn’t going to waste a rather powerful spell on someone whose terror and conscience would do the same thing, because his fear was enough to give him stomach problems if he delayed too long. Harmon had often spoken of using the magic of human credulity and Chessina, bless her, had actually explained this to me, and that it was not charlatanism, but pure psychology, and using my will against that of others.

I never argue with my wife.

“If you start bullying again, I’ll know,” I said. “You may go.”

He staggered out as well as unpleasantly filled trousers permitted him. I cast a few air freshening spells. His diet was not of the best, and it was detectable.

And then I swore several blistering oaths.

Sheyla, widowed many times, preternaturally beautiful, and cousin of a woman who had summoned a demon. And Sheyla had also lost her looks.

One had to assume that it was she who had introduced Renilla to  demonology, and with the same patron, the demon we knew as Pointy-teeth.

I was too close to this.

I clenched my fists, and my jaw, and fought with myself not to let my rage out over this senseless killing of my master, who had no interest in this blasted woman!  I wanted to blast Bertor into a million little pieces, and I was having to clamp down because the inn was beginning to shake. Verro... I had dismissed him before I obliterated him. He was a brainless thug. He had not thought things through. Bertor... no, I would not think of Bertor, while there were breakable things near me like the town of Stonebridge, or my beloved foster-daughter’s favourite toy.

I would write a report to Dragovar and let him deal with what to do about Bertor, and Harmon’s murder; and what to do about Sheyla.

He is the Royal Wizard, after all. They pay him for these headaches.

 

I dismissed the invisible servant, and took my carpet home, where Chessina, who could read my moods very well, promptly grew horns and a tail and let me chase her to bed where she could enjoy manipulating me into being what she called masterful.

I felt a lot better after she had loved me into submission.

Doubtless after my report had been read, we would get a summons to the city.

Oh, well, a quiet life is not for the likes of wizards.