the long-awaited sequel to Simon's 'the Unexpected Demon' - these are the separate chapters he sent me. I have [a] been stitching them together [b] dealing with grammatical matters, as Simon was also taught by the 'let the lovies find out with free expression' method , and trying to get it out of calibri double spaced which my computer converted it into. If I hadn't previously mentioned it, I hate Win 11 and all its works.
He's worked really hard, and since January has done a major rewrite on the first 8 chapters and has carried on to be on chapter 32, which might be the last or might be the penultimate chapter.
Unwanted Elves
Chapter 1
"Hello Dragovar," I said silkily, seeing him waiting as Chessina and I walked into the vestibule of the Royal Tower of Wizardry, "I hope the Royal Wizard has an exceptionally good reason for disturbing our honeymoon."
I saw him wince at my tone, we are friends, actually he is my best friend, but there are limits.
"It's the elves," he began.
"Yes, they're annoying gits," I interrupted, "what have they done that requires the Towermaster and his Apprentice, who is also his bride come without delay to the capital?"
"Hello Tasayne," said Chessina, catching sight of Dragovar's apprentice and consort, "shall we go and have tea while the boys bitch at each other?"
"Oh," replied Tasayne, "I was hoping to hear His Snideness Towermaster Castamir in full flow." By the way, what have you done to your hair, Castamir, It’s much nicer,” remarked Tasayne.
“Chessina decided she didn’t like my previous hair style, so she changed it.” I replied.
“Castamir dear, you didn’t have a style. You just hacked off any locks that got in your eyes or threatened to drangle in a potion. It’s much nicer now.” She added in satisfaction, with just a touch of smugness.
I suddenly noticed that Dragovar no longer had the moustache and goatee beard I was used to. It made him look much younger.
“I see I am not the only one to have been follicularly rearranged.” I remarked.
“It seems both our ladies have definite preferences over our appearance.” Dragovar replied with a certain amount of resignation.
"Perhaps we should take tea now," Dragovar continued, doubtless seeking to soothe my irritation.
"Tsk, tsk, Dragovar," I reproved, "you are disappointing your lady love. When is the wedding by the way, Chessina and I didn't receive our invitations?"
Dragovar looked about wildly. If you are going to discommode me, I thought, I'll discommode you back. Besides, he really needed to regularise Tasayne's status so that she didn't get treated badly by the so-called ladies of the Royal Court. I know she could turn them into the flatulent toads they so closely resembled, but their husbands might object, or they might not. In any case I doubted their majesties King Beremar and Queen Silavelle would relish a croaking chorus at court, even if said chorus would produce more sense and erudition than its members had formerly. Chessina took pity on Dragovar and taking his arm, led him upstairs into the sitting room.
"Ring for tea, there's a dear, Tasayne," Chessina began, "but you really need to regularise Tasayne's position Dragovar. If any of the . . .females at court upset her , I would have to . . . take steps to prevail on them not to. You do love Tasayne, don't you?"
"Yes, of course, but . . . " Dragovar trailed off.
Chessina was no longer a demon, as she and I, with much help from Dragovar and Tasayne had recovered her soul. But even so Chessina still had many of the instincts of a demon, manipulation being one of them.
"Perhaps we could leave the reordering of Dragovar and Tasayne's domestic arrangements until we find out what they want us for, my dear," I said, winking at Chessina to show I was only teasing.
"Yes, ah . . . the elves," began Dragovar.
"We'd got that," I interrupted, again.
Chessina poked me.
"Behave, Castamir," she admonished me, "please continue Dragovar, we are listening. At least those of us with any pretentions to intelligence are doing so."
I can never resist my wife. Besides, she knows where I am ticklish, and fond as I am of Dragovar, I would hate to giggle incontinently at him.
“What is the problem exactly?” asked Chessina.
“Periodically, the northern elves decide that they own the Great Forest in addition to their own lands,” said Dragovar. "Then some of them move in."
“Move in?” queried Chessina. “What about the villages within the forest where there are human foresters and hunters?”
“Well, that’s it, Chessina,” said Dragovar. “When I say ‘move in’ I mean just that. They deal with any human settlement by sending twenty-four hours written warning to vacate. Written in elvish. And then when the time is up, they start throwing in magic acorns and anyone caught up in the growth of a three-second oak tree becomes wood. Not a nice way to go. And anyone still alive is run off or slaughtered as ‘trespassers’. They call it reconstructive reforestation. We call it combat botany. It’s nasty.”
“What do you want us to do, Dragovar?” asked Chessina. “Give succour to any who escape?”
"I was hoping you might go as an embassy to the elven king, together with whoever you felt necessary. I am authorised to offer you the aid of any of His Majesty's diplomats," said Dragovar.
I refrained from asking what I could use them for, hat racks perhaps? I didn't want to upset him.
"You could explain that the whole of the Great Forest inside our borders comes under the Towermaster’s protection,” Dragovar continued.
“But it doesn’t; not according to the deeds I have,” I said. “It is a matter of the kingdom growing into the Great Forest. The elves call it An Gwyth Meer, the great trees, and though their kingdom, Annethfae, is mentioned separately, it is really no man’s land.”
“The dwarves won’t like it either,” said Dragovar. “They pass through the lands we would claim, to trade.”
“I don’t mind treating with the elves, but I cannot claim it as part of the Tower’s protection,” I explained. “They get snippy about others assuming on such things, even if they assume themselves. You recall that I researched the origin of the Tower, and the ownership of the land of the village of Fair Pastures and who had responsibility for it?” I asked.
“You said that the elves had given it in perpetuity to the first Towermaster for a signal service,” said Dragovar.
I nodded.
“Well, I went digging a bit further into the older scrolls ... there’s a nifty spell on them, by the way, which protects them from drying out, succumbing to damp, getting eaten by silverfish, mice or rats or just plain fading,” I added.
“I will like to learn that spell if you will teach me, but get on with it,” said Dragovar. He can be so impatient at times. Even when sidetracked.
“Of course, Royal Wizard,” I said, with a courtly bow. Did I hear him grinding his teeth?
"Stop being a showman and give," said Chessina, her poking finger held at the ready.
"When I dug further, and as towermaster I have access to all the records" I continued, "I discovered that the service, and I still don't really know what that was, revolves around the fact that the elves are a mongrel race. Which is, incidentally one reason why they are so opposed to any of their kind forming a union with a human."
"Now, that surprises me," said Dragovar.
"Please get comfortable, Dragovar," I said getting to my feet, "as I'm about to lecture at you. If the elves knew I knew this they would be spitting nails. Elves are a magically stabilised race in descent from the truefae – and humans,”
“Bloody hell!” said Dragovar.
“Nearly,” I said. “The Truefae, or Fae, are akin to demons; I’m not precisely sure of the relationship. Whether it was merely a choice of locale and ideology which separate them, but where demons are quite indecently solid, the fae are somehow ... mutable and less connected with permanence. There is a mutability which demons can manage, changing their appearance, hiding demonic features and so on. But the fae pursued esoteric and probably dangerous magics in order to live in airy realms, and they lost connection with solid bodies. Their forms are tenuous to a greater or lesser extent, less so in the case of those who have tied themselves to nature, like the woodfae – woses, dryads, naiads and the like.”
“You’re wandering off the point, dear,” said Chessina.
“No, it’s all important background,” I said “Because the fae, or the high fae as they like to be called, feed from the life-force of their kindred. The lifespans of dryads are tied to their trees, but the fae can feed from both. They can also feed from elves – so long as they have strong emotions. And herein lies the nature of elvenkind, having broken away from the fae. The fae are inclined more to neutrality than the evil of demons, and the elves try to fool you into thinking they are also truly neutral and in tune with nature. Rather, they are aloof and indifferent. This shields them from having their life-force tapped by their less solid kin as it shortens their life-spans. For those elves who fall in love with humans, this is a small price to pay. For those more aloof, such is anathema.”
"As the elves are so keen to keep all this secret," said Chessina, "I may have a solution to the problem."
"What is it?" Dragovar almost yelled.
“Why, blackmail them,” said Chessina, happily. “Let them know that if they don’t capitulate, we will tell everyone their origins.”
"Wonderful!" I cried, "can you imagine what the dwarves would say if they found out? They already consider elves a bunch of stuck-up snobs, which they are of course."
"An excellent idea, Chessina," said Dragovar, with a satisfied expression, "please go and sort it out at once."
"I've outsmarted myself, haven't I?" said Chessina ruefully.
"I'm afraid so, love," I commiserated, "still while we do so, Dragovar will have time to make all the preparations for his and Tasayne's wedding."
I was hugged and squealed at by both Chessina and Tasayne.
Dragovar gave me a jaundiced look. If he was going to interrupt my honeymoon, I was going to disturb his comfortable inertia.
"I've been examining the amulet you took from Fishface," said Dragovar in a desperate, and successful attempt to change the subject.
Fishface, was the name I had given the demon who had hidden Chessina's soul, not daring to use his name in case it drew his attention. His demonic truename, which gave power over him was unknown to us.
"What did you find?" I asked, all thoughts of weddings vanishing from my mind.
We were interrupted by servants bringing tea, and it was a measure of my impatience that I wanted Dragovar's news rather than tea.
"Well?" I continued once the servants had withdrawn.
"Patience, dear boy, patience," said Dragovar, delicately sipping tea, "learn to appreciate the amenities of civilised living. We are not in your rural fastness now."
As I was spluttering at this, Chessina interjected.
"Please stop teasing Castamir, Dragovar," she said, "Tasayne and I want to know too. Besides we all know you want to display your erudition."
"You know me too well, minx," replied Dragovar, without heat.
"I don't think you should call my lady wife a minx, Dragovar," I said, "even if she is one." I continued, winking at Chessina.
"Please could you tell us your news, Dragovar," said Tasayne, somewhat plaintively, "some of us want to know."
"I can deny my fiancée nothing," said Dragovar sententiously, and continued hastily as several eyebrows were raised. "As far as I can determine, the amulet is of elven manufacture, it has their filigreed style, and the runes are written in elvish. I'm reasonably certain it wasn't made by demons. I've studied several items of demonic manufacture, and devilish items too, come to that."
"Where are . . . ," I began, half rising from my seat.
"As I was about to say," continued Dragovar, "all such items are safely stored in shielded containers in the magically warded levels of the tower. Near to where Renilla was imprisoned before we questioned her."
"We are going to need to borrow some of those items, Dragovar," said Chessina with a strange expression on her face. It was the expression of someone who had just had a piece of knowledge unfold in their mind with absolute crystalline certainty. I ought to know, I've had that experience several times.
"What information has the divine Arcana, goddess of magic implanted in your mind, my dear?" I asked. I was, I confess, somewhat worried. Arcana didn't do such things on a whim, but when something important was in the offing. I suddenly realised, with something of a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, that although regaining Chessina's soul was the most important thing in the world to me, it was also important enough for Arcana to get involved directly. Why? It seemed that we had stumbled into a much larger, and more dangerous universe than we realised.
"Just that we are going to need some of the items Dragovar has squirreled away," Chessina replied, "but I don't know which ones or why. Arcana never mentioned this when we spoke."
"You never did tell me much of what you and Arcana discussed, my love," I commented.
"Be fair, husband," said Chessina with an impish grin, "we got married shortly thereafter, and were . . . rather busy subsequently."
I could feel my cheeks burn with what was doubtless a fiery blush.
"Arcana did say that Fishface was a matter of great concern to both her and Emaxtiphrael," said Chessina.
"I didn't think Fishface ranked that high in the demonic pecking order," I mused.
"He doesn't," said Chessina firmly, "but somehow he is able to rip a soul from its body and place it in the Halls of Waiting for, well no-one knows how long, not even Emaxtiphrael who rules there. And that has both he and Arcana worried as a demon shouldn't be able to even enter the halls."
"Did you speak to Emaxtiphrael?" asked Dragovar.
"No. From what I understand, that would be against protocol," said Chessina, earnestly. "The halls of waiting are a central part of Emaxtiphrael's portfolio and so Arcana had to ask his permission to go there. But I am tied to Arcana and so it was proper for her to speak to me rather than for Emaxtiphrael to do so."
"Deities have portfolios?" I enquired, somewhat flippantly. I didn't find it comfortable to be so deeply involved in the affairs of the gods.
"Oh yes," said Chessina, "and from what I understand are adhered to pretty rigidly. What might happen to the universe if the gods had a serious spat?"
"Did you talk about anything else?" asked Tasayne. I had a sudden vision of Arcana, Chessina and Tasayne indulging in girl-talk. What might they discuss? I hastily thrust the thought from me, such things are not for the minds of mortal men.
"Arcana told me that I would need to impersonate a demon and so I can still have horns and tail when I need them," Chessina said, "should I also mention that I can have a forked tongue if I wish?" Chessina flicked out the aforementioned tongue after saying this. Tasayne looked very thoughtful and I swear Dragovar went boss eyed for a moment.
"Perhaps you shouldn't mention that," I muttered.
"As I was . . . reborn, I suppose," continued Chessina, "my old demonic Truename is no longer tied to me, and I do still appear to have my demonic senses. Arcana told me that while we were fighting Fishface, she retrieved something that allowed her to do so. Although I can go without sleep for quite a while if I need to, I must sleep periodically. I also need to eat and drink regularly, I can no longer survive on just sex."
Seeing the startled expressions of Dragovar and Tasayne, Chessina continued.
"Such a vigorous boy," she cooed fluttering her eyelashes, "made a girl feel as though she was completely full."
As my face once again burned, Tasayne spoke.
"Chessina, don't you think you are embarrassing Castamir a bit too much?"
"Probably. I'm sorry, love," Chessina said, holding out her hand to me, "Oh, bother, another bit of Arcana's information just unfolded itself. The elves are tied in somehow to demonic political shenanigans. Wonderful."
