copper's cruise 20

 

Chapter 20 Death of a Cad part 6

 

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” said Langburne.

“Yes, you do,” said Alexander. “You argued with Thwaite. I think I can tell you what it was about. I noticed that you were angry at the guy who does card tricks, because his legerdemain highlighted some of the tricks you’ve been using when playing cards, and Thwaite noticed. He spent some time playing cards with you, after I bawled him out. He wasn’t lacking in observational powers, nor astuteness in things other than the reactions of other people. He caught you marking cards, didn’t he?”

“Whatever makes you think I mark cards?” said Langburne.

“I have observed you doing it,” said Alexander. “And dealing from the bottom of the pack, and I believe you’ve palmed a few.  I consider it reprehensible that you jeopardised the marriage of the Freemans in cheating Doug out of a good portion of their honeymoon money; and you are lucky that they are philosophical about having to economise, or I’d consider you as much a menace as someone who deliberately sets out at home-breaking.  I was going to recommend that the company stop permitting you to use them for your theft, but I am inclined, in general, to consider caveat emptor for anyone foolish enough to gamble with strangers.”

“Last of the choir-boys,” said Langburne.

“You know, I don’t much care what you call me,” said Alexander. “I’ve been called more creative names by better men than you.”

“You seem very keen to pin his death on me,” said Langburne.

“I don’t want to ‘pin it’ on anyone,” said Alexander. “But you are the one whose livelihood is the one that was threatened by Thwaite’s intemperate words, and way of blurting things out.”

“That doesn’t mean I had anything to do with him falling overboard.”

“Did you go to Oxford, or Cambridge?” asked Alexander.

“Cambridge. What has that to do with anything?”

“You’re an educated man. The only other man on this voyage likely to be familiar with a term like ‘Flashman.’ As Flashman was a cheat, that’s an irony, but still a matter of significance.”

“And are you pinning your whole case on an old woman’s bad dreams?”

“Yes, actually, I am,” said Alexander. “I don’t know how well it will stand up in court, but I’d present it. Any other of the passengers can be forgiven for forgetting that the Nile is infested with crocodiles, and for assuming that a man thrown overboard will swim to the nearest bank, cursing, but essentially unharmed. You don’t have that excuse as you’ve lived out here, going up and down river with everyone else for a couple of years. That’s why I consider your actions reprehensible.”

“I call your bluff. You have no real evidence, and I say you are trying to pin it on me because you don’t want to put it on your friend with the loud voice. And that wouldn’t do your career much good, copper.”

“Oh, Freddy is well alibied,” Alexander said. “But, you know, you killed Thwaite in vain. Because I will now be telling the management that I have also observed you cheating, so they will still sling you off their boats in any case. A man’s life discarded for nothing, you fool. Nothing.”

“And I’m a witness to that,” said Eric.

“You can both go to hell,” said Langburne, getting up and stalking off.

Alexander watched him go, and sighed.

“Well, I gambled, and lost,” he said. “He’s right, there’s precious little to take to court. I’d have accepted him saying he’d forgotten the crocs, and paying back Doug Freeman as a token of good faith, but in the absence of more evidence, he’ll walk.”

“Unless he tries to kill you and me,” said Eric.

“You have a point,” said Alexander. “We won’t mention that to the ladies, though. But tell Freddy and ask him to keep an eye out.”

“I will,” said Eric.

“If he has the brazen ones to sit pat, there’s nothing we can do,” said Alexander.  “And if he is slung off this cruise company’s ships, well, there are others.”

“Do you think he is going to try to kill us?” asked Eric.

“To be honest? No. He’s a gambler. If I had solid evidence against him, he might think it worth the risk. But as it stands? There’s nothing on him.  In his idiom, I was forced to show my hand, and it came up a busted flush. This is the way a copper’s life goes, lad. Sometimes the bad guys get away with it. I have every expectation that justice will catch up with him some day, when he cheats the wrong person and ends up as the one thrown overboard. But this time he’s lucky. Nobody cares enough about Thwaite to make a big to-do about it, and he had reason to quarrel with Thwaite, being the only person who had real crime to display.”

“I have an idea,” said Eric. “It’s a form of justice. Supposing Doug complains to the company about being bilked, and those of us who have seen him use legerdemain back him up?”

“It’s a form of justice, as you say,” said Alexander. “And once exposed, he has no reason to kill us for our silence.” He considered. “I’m going to ask to search Thwaite’s cabin, too.”

“If Langburne has not done so already,” said Eric.

“A risk we have to take,” said Alexander. “And I’m not on par, because I should have done that first. I made mistakes with this one. You can learn from them.”

“You’re a big man, sir, to admit to them,” said Eric. “Let us search Thwaite’s cabin.”

“If nothing else, I can teach you some searching techniques,” said Alexander.

 

Thwaite’s cabin was orderly and military in appearance. He kept no kind of journal or diary, or if he had, Langburne had already taken it.

“I don’t see him keeping a diary, anyway,” said Alex. “The sort of man who committed his stories to memory. Not a great reader, either, by the look of it. An old copy of ‘Horse and Hound;’ presumably to keep a conversation with sporting gentlemen between war stories. A bit dog-eared.  Hello! What’s this?”

“He’s made a list of Langburne’s marks down this wide margin, hasn’t he?” said Eric.

“Well! That’s another piece of evidence. Certainly enough to get some justice for young Doug. You got out from playing with him very quickly.”

“I couldn’t sharp a sharper, but I know enough to recognise one,” said Eric.

 

 

oOoOo

 

Doug was nothing loth with regards to making a complaint, and went to the boat’s captain, citing witnesses.

The captain assembled Langburne, Alexander, Freddy, and Eric in his cabin with Doug, as complainant.

“Mr. Freeman declares that you won a couple of thousand pounds from him by the expedient of cheating,” said the captain.

“And I say, let him prove it,” said Langburne.

“You left your cards in the saloon when you left Eric and me,” said Alexander. “They are marked.”

“Can you prove you did not mark them to get me into trouble?” asked Langburne.

“As Eric and I are a witness for each other, and with better credentials than you, don’t even try that,” said Alexander. “Moreover, Captain Thwaite left what can be considered a dying deposition about the marks you use.”

Langburne’s breath hissed in.

“You’re lying,” he said.  “It’s a bluff. Why, the man did not even have a notebook!”

“Which is why he used the pages of the ‘Horse and Hound,’” said Alexander.

“What?” Langburne was startled.

“Full house,” said Alexander. “I can’t prove you had anything to do with Thwaite’s death, but it is a sweet irony that his testimony should show you up as a cheat.”

“What are you going to do about it?” asked Langburne.

“You’re going to pay Mr. Freeman back, play no more cards, and leave us when we reach Luxor; and you will no more be welcome on this line’s boats,” said the captain.

Langburne snarled.

“Very well; you leave me little choice,” said Langburne.

“You got lucky that I can’t prove you killed Thwaite,” said Alexander. “Look on that as an overall win.”

Langburne considered, and shrugged.

“I suppose so.  I contend that at least a third of Freeman’s losses were poor play.”

“Pay me half what you had from me, and I’ll chalk up the rest to experience,” said Doug.

“That’s… generous of you,” said Langburne, grudgingly.  “No hard feelings?”

“Not after I can treat my wife to some of the little luxuries being on honeymoon is all about,” said Doug. 

This being settled, Alexander looked forward to seeing the Temple of Karnak, and the other sites Ida had come to see.

 

oOoOo

 

 

Ida photographed and sketched assiduously, and made notes, and bought sundry keepsakes made by local craftsmen as she had around Giza. Alexander bought her a collar of faience, set in silver, depended between winged silver figures at each side. Ida squealed with delight.

“Of course, most Egyptian women wore their skirts from just under the bosoms and nothing but jewellery above,” teased Alexander. “So, you should tie a bath towel around you and put on the necklace for me.”

“When we’re married, I’ll do the whole outfit for you,” said Ida. “Kohl in the eyes and walking like an Egyptian.”

“How do Egyptians make love?” asked Alexander.

“Probably like anyone else, and we’ll get there,” said Ida. “We can’t consult the Erotic Papyrus of Turin, because it’s not on display to anyone but the stuffiest of old antiquarians.  I eavesdropped on a couple of archaeologists talking about it. It was found almost a hundred years ago in the valley of the kings.”

“Egyptians had pornography?” Alexander was nonplussed.

“They were more like us than you’d think, I suspect,” said Ida. “And you are a bad man.”

“I had to tease you,” said Alexander.

“Of course you did. It’ll be a long three years.”

“But we have enough love to wait,” said Alexander.

 

oOoOo

 

The trip down the river was far more peaceful, and Alexander managed to abandon the wheelchair most of the time.

In Cairo, Alexander was surprised to see Maigret as they booked into the hotel. The cherubic-looking, curly-haired young French detective greeted him cordially.

“My dear fellow! How are you?” asked Alexander.

“Very well, thank you,” said Maigret. “Thank you for your tip-off; we got the whole gang, including le préfet.  My superiors are very pleased, and they want you to accept an Ordre Merité Civil.”

“That’s very nice of them,” said Alexander, cautiously.

“You were put at risk by one of our supposed officials and my superiors are embarrassed by it,” said Maigret.

Alexander laughed.

“Ah, now I understand,” he said. “In that case, I will accept it with gratitude, and a smile, and save face all round.”

“Thank you,” said Maigret.

“You know, and I know, that a policeman is always a policeman and that I did what I had to do, and you would do the same,” said Alexander.

“These officials,” said Maigret. 

“These officials,” agreed Alexander. “Drink?” he summoned a waiter.

“I don’t mind if I do,” said Maigret. “They are paying your fare home, also.”

“Kind of them,” said Alexander. “Are we travelling companions?”

“I believe so,” said Maigret. “We have a plane to take us to Marseilles.”

“I hate aeroplanes,” sighed Alexander.

“It is a commercial passenger plane,” said Maigret. “It is comfortable enough. Then, the Blue Train north bound, a ceremony in Paris, and a commercial flight to Croydon.”

“Ah! They are grateful for my aid, but such a troublemaker is best sent on his way quickly,” laughed Alexander.

“You have said this, not me,” said Maigret.

“Well, we are agreed on officialdom,” said Alexander, raising his glass.

It was time to say farewell to their riverine companions and go home; and Alexander was looking forward to being back at his desk.

 

Copper's cruise 19

 

 

 

Chapter 19 death of a cad part 5

 

“Really, do we have to put up with this?” sneered Guy Purvis. “None of us has anything to hide, copper, and you’re one of those who had issues with Thwaite.”

“And because I took steps to deal with him in a sanctioned and legal fashion, having asked to have him put ashore, I had no need to throw him overboard. If I could at the moment without ripping open my belly,” said Alexander. “And yes, you do have to put up with this. I’ve said I’ll accept any reasonable story of a struggle.”

“Well, I have nothing against the fellow,” said Purvis. “Other than that he was a bore, like all you old fogeys with your war stories. The world is for the young.”

“Just as well; us old fogeys will be too old to fight if the pessimists are right, and that there will be another world war growing from the resentments left of this last one,” said Alexander. “And you’re welcome to it.”

“There’s a generation who are damaged by it,” said Miss Goldsworthy. “And the rest find those who were in the war disturbing: those of us too old to truly understand, and those, like Mr. Purvis, who are too young. But we who are older have, at least, the tolerance and experience to do our best, as we have had the best part of our lives; be gentle with Mr. Purvis, Mr. Armitage, he is frightened of war, and he does not want to have to face the reality of it head on, which is why he makes fun of it. It’s all a piece with this jazz music, and wild dancing, and taking such silly risks with drugs and fast cars, it’s a way of declaring that they can live life fast and not be touched by reality, because reality reminds them of the evil in the world, and they need a fantasy life to escape from the reality they are reminded of in the thousand yard stare of the veterans who have seen more than they can possibly imagine, and more than they want to contemplate.”

“Silly old bat,” said Purvis, contemptuously.

“She’s very close to the mark,” said Alexander. “I was cut by two boys younger than you, Mr. Purvis, who felt they had missed out on living life to the full in being too young for the war. They wanted to prove their superiority by torturing me to death. Pathetic, really.”

“Shit! What happened? How did you survive?” asked Purvis, despite himself.

“Language, in front of a lady,” said Alexander. “They neglected to tie my feet, and I kicked one in the head. My man hit the other one and my men arrived, a little on the drag. I’d set myself as bait to catch them before they started on other family members of theirs, or the general public. Most unpleasant; their idea of violence came only from the sanitised version of   violence on screen.”

“Some of these films are dangerous,” said Miss Goldsworthy.

“Only to the weak minded,” said Alexander. “They are in Broadmore. I would like to feel sorry for them, but it may take me a while. The high-pitched giggle of the younger one is a scarier noise in nightmares than the squeak of a tank’s treads and the rumble of its engine.”

Purvis tried to hide the shudder he gave.

“You seem,” said Miss Goldsworthy, “Remarkably rational, considering your likely experiences.”

“The trick is to capture the memories of the good things,” said Alexander. “Capturing as booty fifteen pounds of Swiss chocolate from a Hun gun position, and drinking hot chocolate on a cold night; looking at the sunrise through jewelled dewdrops on the web of a tenacious spider which had taken up residence on our gun; a determined tendril of ivy, attempting to colonise barbed wire; and how an old fence threw an elongated shadow onto mist which looked like a cross on Easter morning, as a sign of hope to bring courage.”

The old woman nodded.

“We cannot claim to have the same experience, but the bombing of London by the zeppelins brought similar small miracles of life to the fore,” she said. “Now, I imagine you want to know what I remember of the night.”

“If you please,” said Alexander.

“The first time I was disturbed was the incident which you have dissected with masterly thoroughness.  I was irritated, and I confess a trifle alarmed by the violence of the demands of the man, Thwaite, and I readied myself, like dear Ida, to go to the aid of poor Anne, should he force his way into her cabin. I do not have a firearm, myself, but I have always found that even the most intemperate of men are inclined to return to some species of quiescence if a steel knitting-needle is introduced with a degree of force to some of the more tender portions of their anatomy. It appears to discourage them.”

“Indeed, it would do so,” said Alexander.

“I heard Mrs. Freeman’s… forthright… comments, and that Thwaite snarled a bit and left. I can’t really describe his angry noises any other way, though I confess I saw him more as an overfed Pekinese than as a dangerous wild animal,” said Miss Goldsworthy.  “I spent twenty minutes reading my Bible to return me to a state to sleep with a clean conscience, and I was just dropping off when I was roused again.  By voices.  I would say that they were towards the men’s side of the cabins, but between there and the lounge, and had I not had the window open, I doubt I would have heard anything.”

“And one of them was Thwaite?” asked Alexander.

“I could not swear to that,” said Miss Goldsworthy. “You see, both voices were whispering.  I might not have even noticed them, had they been speaking normally, but you know how it is with a whisper; your mind wants to strain to hear it, and so it wakes you up, where normal tones do not. You know how it is in hospitals.”

“You are absolutely right, ma’am,” said Alexander. “I recall the nurses who tried so hard to be quiet always woke me up, and the ones who carried on as usual, I could quite ignore.” He looked at her intently. “How much of what was being said were you able to make out?”

“Not all of it,” said Miss Goldsworthy, looking embarrassed. “Oh! I know why I thought it was Thwaite, because the other voice called him ‘Captain Flashman,’ and I thought, that isn’t a term I’ve heard in a long time; when I was a girl, ‘Flashman’ was a name of a bully, from Tom Brown’s Schooldays, you know.”

“Indeed, and that would suggest someone like Thwaite,” said Alexander. “A slightly old-fashioned term for him.”

“Yes, I thought so,” said Miss Goldsworthy. “And, frankly, I cannot see either of the Messers Beauchamp reading such literature. And certainly not Mr. Curtis, or Mr. Freeman. You, I am sure, are familiar with the book.”

“Yes, it was in the family collection, and I read it, along with tripe like ‘Eric, or Little by Little,’ and the surprisingly entertaining ‘Little Lord Fauntleroy,’ the excellent ‘Stalky and Co,’ which I had for my eleventh birthday. And various stories in ‘Boys’ Own Paper,’ of course.”

“Well, it struck me as not entirely accurate for Captain Thwaite, who struck me as very much unlike Flashman. Flashman is clever, cunning, lazy, able to be charming, and cruel. Thwaite seems to be industrious, stupid, socially inept, and totally unaware, most of the time, what a nuisance he is. Was, I should say. His hounding of Anne is inconsistent with a man who has a secret and delights in tormenting a victim with hints; he blurted it all out, and seemed to expect to sleep with her because of his perceptions of who she had been, not as a means to silence him. I don’t know if you agree, Mr. Armitage, but I do consider myself a bit of a student of human nature.”

“I think you sum it up very well indeed,” said Alexander. “We could do with you at the Yard.”

“Well, I don’t know about that, but I am flattered that you should say so,” said Miss Goldsworthy. “The person talking to him told him that there were limits to how much he would take. Thwaite – if it was Thwaite - said that he did not know that was meant. The whispering became harsh and moved away. I was just wondering whether I had dreamed it or not, when I thought I heard a cry and a splash. And, oh, Mr. Armitage, I have been praying for forgiveness that I did not go to investigate, but convinced myself that I had been reading too lurid fiction, and that I had been dreaming.”

“You probably were, you silly old coot,” said Reginald Langburne.

“Unlikely; she had not seen your moustache,” said Eric.

“It isn’t done for an officer of the Yard to make personal comments,” said Alexander. “I fear you did not dream it, Miss Goldsworthy, but I cannot think that you should feel for one moment any blame for not going to investigate. You have every reason to suppose that a man was killed, and for a senior lady to go and confront a killer is not bravery, but insanity. I am glad you did not risk yourself. And that you came forward in public, so that nobody thinks you can be silenced.  I am also quite aware that you did not withhold anything, but genuinely wondered if you were sleeping or waking. However, it does sound more like a murder than an affray turning into assault, leading to Thwaite being thrown deliberately overboard. I suspect he may have been hit on the head again, that he did not yell and scream. But it does not show well for the killer that he did not do anything.  To laugh over a man getting a wetting is one thing, but to just leave him in the dark… I am thinking that you would have heard a splash if anyone had thrown a lifebuoy or rope.”

“I think so, too,” said Miss Goldsworthy.

“Well, I am now going to ask Mr. Curtis and Mr. Langburne what, if anything, you heard overnight.”

“I didn’t hear anything overnight,” said Curtis. “And you know what? That’s because there was nothing to hear.”

“You missed the altercation  with Miss Grant?”

“I… yes, I did, but I allow that a number of people did,” said Curtis. 

“Then why not allow that Miss Goldsworthy heard what she did?”

“She’s a silly old bat.”

“In your opinion; why do you think so?”

“She rambles.”

“But she gets to a cogent point; and hidden in her discursive speech, there are gems of information. And believe me, boy, if you think she rambles, you’ve never spent two hours trying to dissect the occurrences of five minutes from a terrified and shaken witness whose main concern is whether her dog will be worried that she was going to be late home, and what the neighbours will say, and what her husband will say about her getting mixed up in the police, and whether the insurance will pay for the dent in the car where the getaway car slammed into her as she fumbled her way along the road and she accidentally caught three very fine villains.”

“I wouldn’t have your job for all the tea in China,” sneered Curtis.

“It has its highlights,” said Alexander. “Now, I wonder if the reason you’re picking holes in this is because you’re the late booking who settled for a steward’s cabin, making the steward have to travel in steerage, which he was complaining about to my man? And you’re defensive because you aren’t as well off as you would like to pretend? You aren’t the only one, the Freemans are taking the trip of a lifetime and are needing to economise, having run into some unexpected costs. The two young officers running around the widow Worthington are officers of the new era without money or family behind them. And you know what? A sensible person has respect for them as people. Nobody’s looking down on you, son, so stop jumping down throats.”

“I… right,” said Curtis. “Well, fine, then.”

It was all the apology anyone was going to get, and Alexander nodded. He motioned to Miss Goldsworthy to hold her peace.

“It would be gentlemanly to apologise to a lady,” said Alexander.

Curtis went red.

“I’m sorry, ma’am,” he said. “He’s right, I feel like a fish out of water.”

“I accept your apology,” said Miss Goldsworthy. “At least you have the finer feelings to feel that you are having to work to fit in. Captain Thwaite never showed any such recognition of his inability to relate to others, and he was quite grossly rude to any number of us.  You could do worse than watch Mr. Armitage.”

Curtis nodded, abruptly.

“I didn’t hear anything, though; except a door shutting near my end of the male cabins which briefly woke me.  So, may I go?” he asked.

“You may,” said Alexander. “You may escort Miss Goldsworthy back to her cabin.”

Curtis opened his mouth, then a look of sudden revelation crossed his face.

“That means you don’t suspect me,” he said.

“It does,” said Alexander. “But don’t leave the country in the next few days. That’s a copper joke.”

Curtis managed a laugh.

“I won’t break out the aeroplane with folding wings I have stowed under my bed,” he said, and looked gratified when Eric and Alexander chuckled at his weak riposte.

“Good man,” said Alexander. That appeared to be a breakthrough to the rather prickly youth, who gave him a shy, almost boyish, smile.

Alexander waited for the young man and old woman to leave, and looked over at where Reginald Langburne was sitting, sprawled back in a chair, with one foot up on another chair, shuffling cards one-handed as was his wont.

“And now,” said Alexander, “Did you want to tell me why?”