The student problem 1

This is set in the same universe as 'Pirates of Deneb' and is something Simon started as an essay on the duties of a noble. It sort of grew but he ran out of steam and I finished it for him in consultation with him; it involves insurrection and treason.

 

Chapter 1

 

Twenty-five Freshmen filed into the classroom I had been assigned. It was a nice classroom, with trid screen, nicely polished real wood desk, and student desks and chairs which looked only marginally uncomfortable, and not a thing yet vandalised.

Out of my league when I had been their age. Rather like their clothes, the price of any one of which costumes would have fed me for a semester.

I nodded, curtly, as they took their seats. They had been here a semester already and I was filling in for another tutor for a while. They looked curiously at me.

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. This is the introduction to the next part of your civics course, the duties and responsibilities of the nobility. Some of you expect to inherit noble titles and any of you may achieve them through service to the imperium. Although there are certain members of the school of whom I devoutly pray that the powers of the universe, if any, prevent such a calamitous occurrence. To continue, we will examine this topic initially, through the lens of the life of Yin G’warz.”  There was a murmur, and I frowned. “Quiet please! Yes, that Yin G’warz, whose life and death were the inspiration for the formation of the most dangerous anti-imperial terrorist group in history."

 

I let my eyes run over them. I saw a sea of faces who I only knew from studying their files on the academy database. By the end of term I would know more about them than the basic details I had memorised. Most of whom I would come to dislike fervently although I would never show it. It helps to treat all the pupils with equal contempt from the outset, a practice which stood me in good stead as a training sergeant. I went on hoping that the looks of bafflement were merely lack of talent, not lack of preparedness. All save one Wargrin lad, a Mr. Guffah, were human.

I held up the book I had assigned, just to remind them what a book was. Or rather, displayed its cover on my reader screen.

 "As you will be aware from reading the assignment I had issued to you, and you had better have read it, Yin G’warz was born the son of minor nobility. He wrote that one of his formative experiences was accompanying his parents on visits to many worlds on what he described as 'makework fact-finding missions'.”

I had written down key phrases and sent this one to the overhead screen. I then scored it through with red to indicate an obvious fallacy, and went on.

“Now, either G’warz's parents concealed what they were doing from him, which I doubt as he was a very intelligent and perceptive young man, or they completely failed in their duty. When on an official duty, as G’warz's parents were, a noble is the eyes, ears and voice of the emperor. Please consider that for a moment as I can see that certain of you already are. This is a heavy responsibility, and is a counterbalance to the privileges enjoyed by the nobility. I think it reasonable to assume that G’warz's parents treated their duties as makework and in so doing not only failed in their duty but misunderstood the way the imperium works, which I will expand on later."

 

Some of the faces were almost eager. That would change as inevitable disillusionment set in. Those who were still enthusiastic at the end of the course would either be a real boon to the imperium, or more likely, prove to be terminally dim.

“Who were Yin G’warz’s parents?” muttered one boy. I have sharp ears.

"What was that Mr. Agaanshiiga, who were Yin G’warz's parents?" The boy looked startled that I knew his name even though I was new. I learned long ago, from a Major Kerofin, ironically enough, the father of one of my pupils, how to memorise names and faces from new recruits files. I had to impress on the pupils the inadvisability of neglecting my assignments, or they would never respect me. Most of the snotty little tykes were well born if not actually noble, and felt their position particularly in respect to less socially rarefied professors.  

I let my fingers drum on my desk to underline my impatience as I answered him.

"Mr Agaanshiiga, I can see that you didn't read the assignment, your house will take three demerits.”  There was a murmur from all of them over this apparent injustice.

I frowned.

“Quiet! In what manner the disapprobation of your peers will be expressed after class is immaterial, unless I either witness it, or it goes too far. Mr DeVeer I see the unspoken question in your eyes, what is too far? That is a matter of judgement, the imperium expects good judgement from its citizens and particularly from the nobility. And to return to the thrust of my argument, G’warz's parents did not exercise good judgement. From the three reports of theirs which are still extant in the historical record it appears that they saw and heard nothing save the hospitality of their hosts. Judging by the style the reports were written by a bored clerk who probably hadn't even been on the trips."

 

I may not have sounded terribly interested to be teaching my students. That could be because I wasn't. I'm a marine gunnery sergeant, not a baby sitter. My job is usually teaching civilians how to be marines, not teaching children how to be nobles. However, a combination of a temporary leave of absence due to injury, combined with a hunch of a man named Beecher, left me teaching while simultaneously looking out for anything 'anomalous'. My name is Henry Kowalski and I was teaching under the name of Harry Lime.

 

I continued, "On such a trip a dutiful noble should be looking at everything. What are the security arrangements like? Are they quiet and unobtrusive or pervasive and watchful? If the latter, why? Are the demonstrations of imperial loyalty spontaneous or do they look thoroughly organised, or are they even present at all? What don't you see? As well as the good things a ruler will, naturally, want to extol, what about the problem areas? Most canny rulers will want to highlight some problems, if only to try to get a tax rebate from the imperium. Everybody wants to reduce their tax payments." I paused to allow the rueful chuckles to die down. "A world without problems, or only those 'too minor to mention'? You should be suspicious.”

I walked to the back of the room and round the class, and slowly back to the front as I spoke, confident  that my voice would carry. I wanted to check if those who appeared to be making notes really were, of if they were doodling. One of the girls was doodling;  most were taking notes of some kind, even if only noting down the key phrases which were appearing on the board as I highlighted them from my notes.

“As well as listening to what people say, both to you and to each other; yes Miss Kerofin that does mean eavesdropping." The girl had put her hand to her mouth and gasped. " I am sure your lady mother told you that eavesdropping is not what a lady or gentleman does. However a wise imperial lady or gentleman knows when to stop being one."

Miss Kerafin annoyed me. Having served under her father, I knew he was damned intelligent, but here she was, the intelligence in her fine eyes screened by expensively-dyed and extended lashes in shades of blue, the colour of the season, and matching her faultless hair, which flowed from navy blue at the roots to silver at the bottom of the shoulder-length ringlets on the unshaven side. I wasn't a fan of the style, and I didn't think it suited her anyway. She had a rather long face, and the ringlets made her look like a spaniel.

Turning my thoughts again to the task in hand, I went on. "Is the gossip about scandals and adultery and yes Miss Kerofin, one does talk about such things, at least one does in my class. If so that's normal in noble circles. Have I shattered some illusions Miss Kerofin? Oh dear, how sad, never mind.”  

Damn, was the girl going to cry? I tried to ignore her.

“If the gossip is about the bad habits or ineptitude of the ruler that should be noted. If the gossip uniformly praises the ruler, then be very suspicious and very careful. On any visit you or your staff should discreetly check your lodgings and transport for bugging devices.”

The gasp and outrage was almost universal at that. I smirked.

 “Yes class, the nobility would do that to another noble, or at least you must assume so. As well as listening to what is said, a noble must listen to what is not said, and that includes body language.”

I was maliciously aware how nervous the body language of most of my pupils seemed to be.  I had reached the front again and deliberately slammed my hand down loud on the desk.

It made them jump and got their numb minds back on task to talk about the meat of what they were looking for. “For example, unrest,” I snarled. “On every world, among every sophont species of which I am aware, someone is always dissatisfied about something, and consequently there will be protests. If there are none, be suspicious."

Miss Kerofin was staring at me fixedly as though I was some kind of dangerous beast. I did hope that she wasn't going to run away. A few of the others seemed interested, most looked frankly bored, particularly the fashionably dressed ones, with the exception of Miss Kerofin. One, Miss Faruu was her name, who was dressed very expensively as well as fashionably, looked at me like some species of bug,. Another, a Miss Brontine, resembling Faruu closely enough to be some relative had such a glazed expression that I feared even though her viewports were open, nobody was on watch.  

Why was I even here? Surely this hopeless bunch of posh children were not likely to summon more braincells than snot, let alone formulate any sedition?

“Why are we even oblged to do this rubbish class?” muttered Miss Faruu, to Miss Brontine. Miss Brontine tossed her monoringlet and sniggered out loud.

“Girls,” I said, with a fatuous smirk, “Have you become misplaced from the kindergarten? I can arrange to have some coloured blocks brought in and have you copy out the colours of the spectrum until you feel old enough to take an important college course.”

They subsided.

 

"I want to expand now on the way the imperium works, as I remarked earlier. The imperium works on information, all wise ruling nobility want information. Information  consists of analysed data. The reports that G’warz's parents filed were devoid of data and therefore useless. In fact, worse than useless, as they missed whatever data there was to be found, and there would have been data. Not only did G’warz's parents fail in their duty, the noble they owed fealty to failed in their own duty for not ensuring that G’warz's parents did theirs. Incidentally, if you have a spare moment, I pause for ironic laughter, look up G’warz's parent's noble superior and what happened to him, it's instructive. Without information the imperium cannot act. Without accurate information the imperium's actions may be counterproductive.”

I drummed my fingers on the desk again and glowered at them, then made the word ‘act’ flash on the board.

“What do I mean by 'acting'? The problems of the imperium are many and varied  and one of the least discussed and most intractable is the oppressive ruler. The tyrant who rules their world with an iron fist, crushing all opposition. Is the solution to them a punitive expedition by the imperial navy and marines as beloved of the more muscle witted? Sometimes yes, in the last, most expensive and least desirable resort. Not only is this costly in lives and materiel, other rulers may decide, rightly or wrongly, that they will be next and decide to rebel where they might have otherwise refrained. The imperium would be consumed by countless revolts from within and attacked by our external enemies. Does that mean nothing can be done? No. The imperium can use a more subtle form of power, and visiting nobility are an integral part of that.”

I surveyed all the faces, hoping they were taking this in. Thank goodness, Miss Kerofin’s expensive lashes were almost tangling where she frowned in thought.

She raised her hand.

“Would it not be more cost effective to equip local rebels rather than depose a tyrant by external force?” she asked, when I nodded leave to speak.

“Such support is not... officially... sanctioned,” I said. “But if a private individual happened to do so, the Imperium is not authorised to interfere”

“Oooh,” said Miss Kerofin.

Good girl; she’d got it. I smiled a wintry smile.

“There are subtle ways to deal with a local ruler getting above themselves,” I continued. “The next visiting noble is of a lesser rank than they expect, due, of course, to unexpected illness or similar. The imperium disapproves of a ruler's policies? An important contract gets assigned elsewhere. When meeting and greeting the great and the good of a world's society, wax enthusiastic about the party or ceremonial event that none of them were invited to as a mark of the imperium's displeasure with the ruler. That does sound trivial but it has a definite effect. One can, very circumspectly sound out the said great and good about replacing the current ruler. Please don't try this unless you know what you are doing and have been thoroughly briefed beforehand. What, did you think that a fact-finding mission just involved loading up a yacht with glittering costumes and luxury food and wines and setting off? Oh, Miss Brontine!” the girl who was looking so horrified followed the same fashions as Miss Kerofin except that her lashes actually sparkled, and her blue hair was streaked with silver and gold.  I leaned back on the table and sneered.

 

“Finally, and I sense the relief at that word; no, I'm not telepathic, I don't need to be, not after this long teaching.  Finally, if because of  your misjudgement or sheer bad luck the ruler has the visiting noble assassinated . . . that is a possibility, if not a large one; the privileges of nobility must be paid for. If you are murdered while on a fact-finding tour that is a high crime and the planet will be descended on by ministry of justice agents who will take the place apart to find those responsible. With support from the navy and marines if necessary. So you might be responsible for a new enlightened ruler . . . posthumously.”

Was it malicious to enjoy the fact that more than one of them shuddered? I smiled brightly.

“As you are already in a depressed state, I will mention this week's assignment. This will be to list all the things to look and listen for when visiting a world, both those you can see and hear, and those you can't."

I paused as the Wargrin boy put up his hand. "Yes, Mr. Guffah?"

"Excuse me sir, but you specified looking and listening for things. May we use other senses?" he asked.

Faruu muttered out of the side of her mouth, "That's your fault for having such feeble sight."

"Miss Faruu, that remark was uncalled for, rude and racist. You will apologise to Mr. Guffah immediately and write me a sonnet on the subject of racial harmony by next lesson, or you will be placed on principal's report." I said in an icy tone.

"I won't!" Shouted Faruu, continuing insolently, "You can't make me."

"If you do not, I shall place you on principal's report instantly Miss Faruu." I replied. "Your record is not so good that you can afford that willy-nilly."

"How do you know, you've only just arrived?" Faruu almost wailed.

"The files, Miss Faruu, the files," I said silkily, "where all your grubby misdeeds are recorded for posterity."

She looked horrified at this, and muttered, "I'm sorry." to Mr. Guffah, in a tone that plainly indicated that she wasn't.

"Be sure not to forget the sonnet Miss Faruu, by next week." I said staring at her as if she were a bug. I can do it too. "My apologies for the unpleasantness Mr. Guffah. As to the assignment, of course you may, indeed should, use any senses. I'm sorry for being parochial. Humans are so visually oriented that in almost every one of our languages, 'to see' is a synonym for 'to understand'. I should have said 'list all the things that you perceive or notice by their absence'. You should use every means at your disposal to amass data, and that certainly includes the remarkable sense of smell of the Wargrini.  Your assignment may be done in groups, should you wish. It is unlikely that you will list all the possibilities. However you may surprise me by coming up with one I don't know. Even I don't know them all.  Very well. Class dismiss."

I pre-empted the bell by three seconds.