the starosta's assistants 1

 you've some of you seen the first bit of this; I hope to keep ahead of you, I have been slow writing but bear with me...

 

Chapter 1 late Autumn 1779

 

“I have the honour to report, my lord, that Towarzysz Ursyn Kudła, aided by sundry towarzysze at and staying at the haberdashery in Ulica Św. Stefana, whom you know, have indeed caught three very fine burglars,” said Jaracz Rzędzian, saluting Starosta Młocki.

“Jaracz, did you just misquote Pliny deliberately?” asked Młocki.

“Of course,” said Jaracz.

“So, I assume you had ‘not forsaken your laziness and had beside you a stylus and tablet?’” Młocki added to the passage often used to the sighs of schoolchildren everywhere as an exercise in translation.

“Well, a wife, anyway,” said Jaracz. “Kordula and I had been partying with the other married bods,  since I’m in two minds about mustering out if I can find a steward for Kordula’s lands, she having a distaste for the place.”

“Understandable,” said Młocki. “But burglars? Who in their right mind would burgle Ulans?”

“Well, they were apparently burgling the haberdashery over and under which sundry of us live,” said Jaracz. “And it was Ursyn who heard them.”

“Inevitably; bears have good hearing,” said Młocki. Ursyn Kudłá, a sub-adult bear, lived with Sylwia  Bogacka, and her husband, Jarosław Bogacki. She had taken him from a cruel master, before she met Jaras, as Jarosław was known. They occupied the basement of the building, with Jeremi Skrzetuski and his wife, Anna Maria having lately lived on the first floor, and the rest of the building occupied by Aureliusz Stroyny and his wife, Ludwika, who was Jaras’s sister, and Paweł Kwaśniecki, and his wife, Edyta. Jeremi and Anna-Maria had not yet decided whether to move into the town property she inherited since her father had died, and had sent a steward to the country estate. Jaracz and Kordula found it uncomfortable living on the estate where Kordula’s father had killed himself, blaming Jaracz for uncovering the crimes of the late Lord Fincke, and showing Kordula’s father up as a fool.

“Well, yes, so as I understand it, Ursyn went to find out why there were unauthorised customers at an odd time of day,” said Jaracz. “That bear has a well-developed sense of duty. He’s also nosy,” he added.

“The latter I believe more,” said Młocki. The Ulans adored their bear and ascribed to him more abilities of reasoning than many outsiders believed.

Rzędzian grinned.

“Well, the first thing the rest of us know is the high-pitched, indeed, falsetto, scream of sheer terror. So we all leap out of bed and run downstairs with our sabres....”

“Stark naked?” asked Młocki.

“Why not? We’re all towarzysze together, including the girls, and just because Jeremi and I have rank, we don’t have that much more dignity.” He considered. “Anna-Maria pulled on a kontusz so she could slide down the banisters,” he added. “She said that the trivial delay in acquiring some protection was insignificant next to the singular advantage to be gained in descending with more rapidity.”

Młocki was used to the wordiness of Lady Skrzetuska.

“So Ursyn caught three very fine burglars?”

“Well, he had one treed, and one of the others told him off for screaming. It was a hoot,” said Jaracz. “The first one said, in a strangled whisper ‘there’s a bear!’ and the next said, ‘nonsense! You came upon some furs.’ And the first said, ‘with eyes, and teeth, and claws?” and the second one had come upon Ursyn by then, who was standing up, a bit puzzled, and said... the burglar said, not Ursyn... ‘it’s stuffed.’ And then Ursyn turned round, and he gave as girly a screech as I have ever heard.  And said, ‘It’s a b-b-bear!’ And then Jeremi heard stealthy noises and leaped on the maker of them, which was the third burglar, and we took Ursyn’s bag in charge, and they were willing to confess rather than be fed to the bear, which we didn’t even have to threaten.   And now Ursyn is a prime favourite with the haberdasher, who had been dubious about him before, so it was a jolly good outcome.”

“Except for the burglars, but they are doubtless glad to be safe in gaol,” said Młocki, cheerfully. “Away from bears and naked towarzysze with sabres. There’s something about a naked woman with a sabre which is almost as scary as a bear.”

“I’d take the bear any day,” agreed Jaracz. “Oh, we need a quote from the English playwright, Shakespeare here – ‘exit, pursued by a bear.’”

“Now that has to be a strange play,” said Młocki.

“I dunno; I don’t speak English,” said Jaracz. “But I heard it mentioned.”

“Well, I am glad you caught the burglars,” said Młocki. “How would you feel about a little more detached duty?”

“Depends where and doing what,” said Jaracz.

“I can’t order you, of course, so you can please yourself. But it’s more or less a favour for the Falcon.”

“Oh, I’ll do it, then. We all respect the Falcon no end,” said Jaracz.

Młocki gave a thin smile.

“He basically threw out the starosta in his nearest town, Dmuchów, and set up a new one, who is a protégé of his,” he explained. “And the level of corruption is unbelievable. It would be as assistants to the Starosta and his page, or wife, if you and your wife, or page, would care for it. I don’t know quite what’s on offer, but only a limited number of constables are actually trustworthy.”

“Delightful. Of course I’ll help out my lord-brother for the Falcon, and I’m sure Kordula will be delighted to be friends with his wife.”

“Splendid,” said Młocki.

 

oOoOo

 

“Dmuchów?” said Sylwia, when Jaracz shared the move with his fellow towarzysze. “But that’s the administrative centre for the village I ran away from to avoid the unpleasant lord who is so free with any girl he fancies.”

“Seems to be something in the water over there,” said Jaracz. “Name wasn’t Zabiełło or Piekarski, was it?”

“Zabiełło,” said Sylwia. “No, Ursyn, you’ve had enough honey.”

The bear grumbled gently, but accepted her removing the jar firmly from his sticky paws. He proceeded to wash them thoroughly and noisily.

“I wonder if the new Starosta would like a second pair of seconded Ulans and their towarzysz with a rather unusual skin condition?” murmured Jaracz. “We should look into your property while we are there.”

“Well, if given leave, I should like to see what’s happening,” said Sylvia. “I left with Ursyn in a bit of a hurry.” She added, “But I did bring the deeds with me.”

“Good; that will help,” said Jaracz.

 

oOoOo

 

Where Jaracz Rzędzian went, his man, Frydek Adamiak also went. Adamiak had worked for Kordula’s father, but Jaracz had won his trust and allegiance, and the man also adored his mistress. Jaracz recognised that a man who could lead the other grooms in trouble, and make small rebellions was a man of initiative who needed more responsibility and wider outlets for his talents than just fettling horses, and Adamiak was happy to be his bâtman with added duties.

Before they set out, however, Jeremi was confronted with a problem as he went to wave them farewell.

The city coach came to a stop in the Rynek, and a young woman climbed out, looking around her, as if trying to get her bearings.

“Halszka?” said Jeremi, striding over to his sister. “Halszka Skrzetuska! What are you doing here? Where are Mama and Papa?”

“Oh, Jeremi! I’ve run away!” said Halszka, casting herself into her brother’s arms. “Do you recall that I hoped to marry Paweł Korwiński?”

“Yes, and I wondered where your wits had gone begging,” said Jeremi. “He ain’t good enough for you.”

“Oh, Jeremi! You are so right!” said Halszka, sobbing. “He did notice me and started courting me, but I was riding astride, racing Janko and Jurko, you know, as one does, and he was just furious, and he raced after me, with no consideration for his horse, and grabbed the bridle and asked what I thought I was doing, and he was so angry!  And I told him, I know my mount’s capabilities, I was not risking her, and he looked at me as if I was crazy, and said ‘to hell with the horse, I’m not going to put up with my bride haring across the countryside like a hoyden, and riding in that immodest fashion too!’ and I said that I wasn’t immodest, I had trousers on so I could ride safely, and he struck me, and said that I should not even mention such garments, and that he would have the banns put up right away so he could school me into being a better lady wife for him, and I said I will tell my parents I don’t want to marry a bully and he said they would be g...glad to get rid of me!”

“It would appear,” said Anna-Maria, who had listened to this tirade, “That the aspirations of this inadequate piece of ordure outstrip his performance as one who aspires to be counted as one of the human race. Indeed, our regimental bear has more manners. I cannot think that Mama and Papa Skrzetuski would make you marry a man who has the temerity to strike a woman, and moreover, his disapproval of what you do, which is presumably within the purview of their sanction, is disrespect to your honoured parents. Jeremi will write to them where you are, and tell them what he thinks, and if this Korwiński comes here, he will undoubtedly employ the noble art of pugilism to soundly discourage the fellow from approaching you, since he can hardly call out a specimen whose own little weapon is too small to consider matching with any of your kin.”

“I might make him fight you, my dear, as he thinks hitting women is fine,” said Jeremi. “In fact, I shall; it’ll be funnier when he loses.”

“In the meantime, I suggest it would be expedient for Halszka to vanish from sight, by being obvious,” said Anna-Maria. “Jeremi, you must arrange for her a horse, and a uniform, and she shall join Sylwia and Kordula as a page to go to Dmuchów.”

An hour later, Halszka, now Hanusz, was dressed in Ulan costume, provided with extra clothes, male and female, having jumped on the coach without thinking or preparing, was wondering what she had let herself in for.

“Well, he won’t marry me with short hair,” she said, happily. Anna-Maria had cut her a czupryna without thinking, and bundled up her plaits to take with her. Halszka was a pretty girl, with curling strawberry-blonde hair, but Hanusz was a relatively unremarkable, if very young-looking, little boy. She got to meet her new companions, though she knew Jaracz Rzędzian, and was comfortable with him, like a spare brother.

He cuffed her gently with the familiarity of a sibling.

“And I hope those precious twin brothers of yours told your parents what was going on, or they’ll be out of their heads with worry,” he said.

“Oh, yes, Janko and Jurko waxed most irritable at Paweł, who was horribly patronising, and called them ‘little boys,’ as well,” said Halszka.

“He’s a cursed rum touch, if you ask me,” said Jaracz. “Any man would like a wife who can stay in the saddle regardless of the terrain, so he doesn’t have to worry when he takes her to war.”

“Paweł despises soldiers,” said Halszka. “He says that war is  too deadly nowadays for any country to ever risk going to war again, and that negotiation and diplomacy will always carry the day.”

“Has a few rats loose in the attic too, by the sound of it,” said Jaracz. “Don’t worry about the bear, he’s a sucker for the dames.”

Ursyn promptly swept off his hat and bowed low, and lifted Halszka’s proffered hand to his lips. It was a new trick which he spoilt by licking her hand, and she squealed and giggled.

Ursyn swept her into a polonaise, and Halszka was giggling as they completed a circle.

“Much more a gentleman than Paweł!” she agreed.

 

oOoOo

 

The group of Ulans swept into Dmuchów in formation, performing riding tricks as they rode. They might not be as flamboyant as some, but they performed well enough, including Ursyn, who had his own carriage, which now had a folding top provided, against inclement weather. Ursyn stood, bowing left and right, as the Ulans turned around, stood in the saddles, ran alongside their galloping horses – they galloped the last part, in the city itself – and finishing with the Cossack death-drag, hats in hands as they hung, head first off the saddles. They rode all round the rynek thus, to come to a halt outside city hall. They remounted in unison to swing off in a more upright fashion.

 

Eugeniusz Zabiełło-Wąż heard galloping hoofs and went to the window.

“This is something worth watching, Felicia,” he said to his wife, who joined him to watch the display.

“Insane,” laughed Felicia. “Surely this isn’t the couple of Ulans we were to be loaned?”

“Oh, I expect the rest are an escort, on their way elsewhere,” said Eugeniusz. “But we’ll give them hospitality... is that a bear?”

“It is a bear. In Ulan uniform,” said Felicia. “Well, that should enliven things if the bear is here to stay.”

“I’m not sure I want things enlivened that much,” said Eugeniusz.