poetry and perfection 9

 

Chapter 9

 

Kitty left Elvira with faint protests dying on her lips, whirling away upstairs to ransack her brother’s old school trunk for clothing he had grown out of, and pinning her ringlets up, and thrusting a cloth cap into her pocket. She pulled on a round gown, adjusting it to be able to go over the boy’s clothes, and pinning a shawl onto one of Stephen’s jackets, to make it look like a piece of female apparel. She would have her cloak over it in any case; and in the relative chill of the evening, she was glad of the layers, as she was shivering with some trepidation as well as the chill of being upstairs in unheated rooms after the heat of moving about playing games downstairs. York tan gloves did as well for a lady as a young gentleman, and she sighed not to be able to borrow Stephen’s silver-mounted cane which she suspected of being a sword-stick. Ladies did not carry canes, and disguising it as a parasol escaped her ingenuity. Moreover, there was no real excuse for a parasol at night.

Having borrowed Stephen’s clothing before, as a wager, and for a bit of freedom, Kitty was ready in less time than it takes to tell, and hastened down the stairs, her own riding boots able to pass as a man’s Hessians to any but the most discerning, and hidden under her skirt. Her muff pistol was in the pocket of her cloak and Stephen’s fine clasp knife was slid into the little pocket in her boots where she commonly kept small change to vail bucolics for opening gates and the like when out riding. She stowed some money there as well as distributing sums between various pockets and in her reticule. A lady without a reticule was most suspicious, and she also put on a bonnet, rather an old one, since she might be expected to have to abandon it. She might use the shawl as a turban if she needed to be female again.

Kitty crept downstairs, down the back stair, and her conscience smote her. She really should have told her parents instead of leaving it to Elvira and Stephen to show them the note and explain what she had done, but she smothered her conscience because it would be sport to foil an abductor and make him look foolish.

Moreover, if word came to her parents too quickly, they might manage to stop her endeavours, and though they might stop the abduction of Elvira, it seemed to be a bit tame; and moreover, he might prove a danger when the party broke up.  She wanted to know who Elvira’s enemy might be, and whether it was one of the supposed sporting gentlemen who sneered at the fear Elvira and Sophie had of travelling, which was a perfectly reasonable fear under the circumstances, thought Kitty.

She carried on down the back stairs to the domain of the servants, and forward towards the kitchen. There was a passage between the kitchen and several pantries, which were situated under the front steps, and the passage ended in a door, which opened onto the paved sunken ‘area’ below street level, where also the coal cellar opened off on the other side of the kitchen.

The door out into the area was propped open, it being hot in the kitchen, and she slipped out, like any surreptitious maidservant going to meet a swain, or a footman going for an illicit smoke on the Area steps.  Fortunately for her, nobody was on the steep steps up to street level, and she ran up to the wrought iron gate out onto the street. It would not be entirely apparent whether she had come from below or out of the big front door with the uncertainty of the shadows between the pools of light; and she crept up the steps to the door, standing in its deep recesses and walked down the steps as if leaving the house. Anyone with sense would realise that there had been no shaft of light through an opening door; but Kitty reasoned that most people had very little sense.  And Elvira’s would-be abductor was expecting a girl to come out of the front door and run to find him; and would see what he expected.

She paused and looked around. There were several carriages, some of which were waiting, and some which had arrived to pick up departing visitors in the next half an hour or so. A door opened, and a face appeared.

“Hurry up! You took your time, don’t you care about your brother?”

“Oh! You told me to make myself comfortable, and… and I had to borrow new cloths,” said Kitty.

“Oh, on your courses, are you? Well, never mind,” said the voice.

Lord Haselbraid was irritated that the girl was on her courses; still, she was a luscious piece and he could put up with the mess to make her his, as well as making marriage imperative.

“I prefer not to discuss it,” said Kitty, getting into the carriage. “It’s nobody’s business but my own, but if I am queasy on the way, you will know why.”

“You ain’t going to shoot the cat, are you?” demanded Lord Haselbraid.

“I like cats, why would I shoot one? Do you have a cat with you?” asked Kitty, looking around.

“Idiotic woman, it means to be sick,” said Haselbraid.

“Oh!” said Kitty. “I suppose it’s because men never grow up that they feel a need to have their own secret language, and pretend to think it’s clever. And their clubs to talk about their little games and things and lie to each other about what fine figures women think them to be, to pretend nobody laughs at them all.”

“You’re far too pert,” growled Haselbraid. “I wager you don’t talk to your brother like that.”

“You’d lose,” said Kitty.

 

The carriage drew out just as Turvey also had a fit of conscience, and went to tell Mrs. Worthington that he had meant no harm taking a message to Miss Kitty; and Elvira was spilling the story to Stephen.

“Well, of all the ninny-hammered things to do,” said Stephen. “Oh, I don’t blame you, Miss Bottringham, I know my twin, once she gets the bit between her teeth you might as well be trying to drive a tiger.  I wish you had both brought this letter to me right away, but we need to consider what to do.”

 

Kitty knew she must drag out her imposture for as long as possible. She waited until the coach picked up some speed.

“What has happened to my brother? How did this accident come about?” asked Kitty, in a small, muffled voice.

“Ah, my poor child, you must know that your brother is accounted quite a Corinthian,” said Haselbraid.

“Yes, what of it?” asked Kitty.

“Surely you must have wondered what made him leave you to your evening’s entertainment and hurry off?” said Haselbraid.

“He went home,” said Kitty.

“Ah, that is what he told you,” said Haselbraid. “I fear that his purpose was less benign; he went to fight a duel. And though he is a good shot, he has been sore wounded.”

“How extraordinary!” said Kitty. “I wonder how he got in a duel between here and the square.”

“It was a previous arrangement, of course,” snapped Haselbraid.

“No, it cannot have been,” said Kitty. “And moreover, you are not heading in the right direction.”

“Little fool, he went out to Hampstead Heath to fight a duel,” said Haselbraid.

“Abandoning Sophie? I cannot think that he would do that. He planned to devote the evening to making her feel better.”

“What? Who the devil is Sophie?” demanded Haselbraid.

“There is no need for offensive language, sir,” said Kitty. “I thought you said you were a friend of the family.”

“Offensive language? What a little idiot you are to find that offensive. And of course I am a friend of the family.”

“No, you cannot be; not if you know nothing about Sophie, and her circumstances,” said Kitty.

“Well, I don’t. What, surely he doesn’t introduce his mistresses to his sister? Or is Sophie a lap dog?”

“How very offensive you are! I don’t believe you even know my brother. Take me home at once!”

“Oh, I won’t do that,” said Haselbraid.

“Why not?” asked Kitty.

“I lied. I neither know nor care what your brother is about, but fighting a duel seemed a plausible story as he’s a nasty tempered fellow. But now we are far enough out of town not to have to pretend any more, Elvira, for we are going to Gretna to get married.”

“Oh, how you confuse me! You tell me my brother is in trouble, now you say he is not, and you want to go to Gretna? I do not understand!”

“How simple minded can you be?” snarled Haselbraid. “What sort of little idiot are you?”

“I don’t know, how many kinds of idiot are there?” asked Kitty, who could not resist.

“I don’t appreciate a smart mouth; you would do well to remember that when we are married,” said Haselbraid, softly; and for the first time, Kitty was actually afraid. “You could spend most of the journey tied up and gagged, released only to eat and relieve yourself. And believe me, if you took advantage of that to beg for help in an inn, you could be denied that privilege. I have clothes for you with me, but I am prepared to leave you in your own filth until we get to Scotland, and to deny you all food, and all but a drink of water once a day. You would soon lose any rebellious spirit fainting with hunger and tortured by thirst.”

Kitty spent some time getting herself under control. She fancied they had been going at least half an hour by now, at a steady, fast speed. She tried to estimate how far they had gone, but time seemed to pass strangely. She shivered.

“I am glad that you are contemplating how unpleasant things might be if you do not comply, and I hope you are deciding to behave,” said Haselbraid.

“You know,” said Kitty, “I think you are rather a monster.” She really was afraid, desperately afraid. Kitty had intended to reveal herself, but she had a horrible feeling that Haselbraid would kill the wrong girl, rather than just put her out. She must continue to keep up the imposture as long as possible.

“I can be quite monstrous if you do not obey,” said Haselbraid. “I take no delight in causing pain, as some men do, but I will not shrink from it to get what I want, and what I want is twofold. Your dowry is imperative for me to come about; but also, I will hurt Beau Bottringham,”

“Why would you want to do that?” asked Kitty, her spine shivering. Somehow the idea that he would hurt her dispassionately was more frightening than that he might enjoy it.

“Because he foiled my attempt to seduce another heiress and spread it about,” Haselbraid almost spat. “I hate him! Every time I delve your lovely body, my pleasure will be heightened by the thought of his frustrated anger, as much as by your lovely gold.”

“And what if I refuse to marry you?” said Kitty.

“You will learn to beg to be my wife in case I offer your helpless body to any man who asks for it,” said Haselbraid. Kitty believed him, and was glad she was not Elvira.  She lapsed back into silence as they travelled, catching occasional glimpses of clouds illuminated by the waxing moon, a day or so from being full, when the road swung more to the west as it meandered north.

“How… how long will it take to get there?” asked Kitty. “And where are we?”

“Five days, if there are no unforeseen problems,” said Haselbraid.  “I am not about to tell you how far we have come, but I have four good short-steppers who can maintain a good speed, and I plan to be more than twenty miles out of London before we stop.  I was about to congratulate you on being sensible, but I wonder if you were hoping that your brother would catch up?  I shan’t be putting up at the larger, more common inns, but you will get used to me in your bed.”

“What, before we are married?”

“Certainly; that way if your brother does catch up, he will have to accept a fait accompli as I will have used you thoroughly.”

Kitty managed to sob into her hands, buying her more time. It did not take much acting. Haselbraid sneered.

“Get your tears out of the way now; I won’t permit them in my bed,” he said.