Tuesday, January 10, 2023

Village Vicar 13

 

Chapter 13

 

“Vicar, I hear that the council have bought one of the houses on Stable Way,” said Mrs. Hadley, anxiously. “I do hope it won’t be for a home for delinquents, or a homeless shelter.”

“Well, now, Mrs. Hadley, did you know that there are more than twenty passages in the Bible, exhorting one to be generous to those who travel and have no place to rest?” said Chaz.

“Theory and practice are two different things, when it’s a case of young hoodlums,” said Mrs. Hadley.

“The idea of rehabilitation centres is that they are supposed to be learning not to be young hoodlums... but as you say, theory and practice don’t always coincide there,” sighed Chaz. “However, I can set your mind at rest, it isn’t a hostel for young offenders. Though the Salvation Army want to open a centre and a small homeless hostel here.”

“Oh dear,” said Mrs. Hadley.

“Why, Mrs. Hadley, suppose a beat-up transit van, marked ‘J. Davidson, Joiner’ pulled up outside, and a man, rumpled from travelling, and his beard and moustache in need of neatening, gets out, helping a young and very pregnant girl, and asks for somewhere to rest as his wife is near to giving birth?”

“I’d take in the girl and tell him to find somewhere, and I’d phone the police to find out if she was a runaway or had been abducted,” said Mrs. Hadley. “And I’d get her to tell me how she ended up with this man.”

“A good, practical solution. And when she says she wants him with her, because he married her so her child would have a father?”

“I blame the parents,” said Mrs. Hadley. “You taught me that I was wrong to make assumptions about a girl’s status. And by the way, I wish you will marry Lucy soon; it will keep the less altruistic women in  the neighbourhood from trying to get you into compromising positions like that wretched Harrison female.”

“Oh, it was a deliberate act for her to kick away the ladder when doing the flowers so I was expected to rescue her, was it?” said Chaz, recalling an incident of the last week.

“Yes, and I imagine you were glad I was there as a chaperone.”

“I was never so pleased to see you in my life,” said Chaz.

“I know you think it unbecoming that I think the worst of people, but honestly! I saw her hovering with the flowers, waiting for you to go in, so she had you alone, so of course I slipped over,” said Mrs. Hadley.

“And under the circumstances, you were making a valid assessment, not a judgement call,” said Chaz. “But back to my hypothetical couple.  Consider what a transit does, and compare it to the time before motor vehicles, and think about Joe Davidson, joiner...”

The penny dropped.

“I see,” said Mrs. Hadley. “I’d still send him over to you while I looked after the girl, to find out if it was perfectly regular or if the authorities needed to be involved. I’d fail my duty to the unborn child and his mother, divine or otherwise, if I didn’t find out if she was under any duress.”

“I think the Good Lord would approve of such sentiments,” said Chaz. “But remember, He is in any stranger come amongst us.”

“I’ll go so far as to give garden work to any of the homeless the Salvation Army has, and I’ll do my turn in a soup kitchen, but no more,” said Mrs. Hadley.

“Can’t say fairer than that,” said Chaz. “Now I’ll put you out of your misery; the council reckons we rate a police house; we’re going to have a sergeant and a constable.”

“Well! That’s a relief,” said Mrs. Hadley.

“And we are to have Sergeant 167 Pete Noakes, and Constable 233 Timothy Cotton,” said Chaz. “The pair who come out from Collingham when called. Pete’s had a recent promotion, and asked for a transfer. I don’t know why, I thought he was happy, but I am sure I will get to the bottom of it.”

“Yes, we don’t need a disaffected policeman on the beat,” said Mrs. Hadley, with a sniff. “I’m glad I apologised to Patty Raikes, though, and asked if she would come back to do for me; she told me that Timothy Cotton is her fiancĂ©.”

“Yes, and she’ll be Mrs. Cotton in a month or so,” said Chaz. “I’ll be calling the banns for the first time on Sunday, now he’s resident in the district.”

 

oOoOo

 

Pete Noakes sat in Chaz’s kitchen at the well-scrubbed table, eating fairy cakes and drinking coffee.

“Now, what’s got you in a twist?” asked Chaz.

Pete flushed.

“Well, when I got promoted, I figured I could legitimately let Sgt  Vivienne Parkley know that I find her attractive, right?” said Pete.

“Reasonable,” said Chaz. “Your feelings are not reciprocated?”

“I... I thought they were,” said Pete. “I took her out for a burger and fries, and we went to a nightclub, and then...” he looked acutely embarrassed, “Then I was called out for a suspected burglary by a scared sounding kid, who was alone between his parents being out and his aunt and uncle coming over to babysit. He’s over twelve, so it’s not illegal to leave him alone, but he heard what he thought was a break-in. So I went over to the house, big, expensive place, and the burglar had already fled – the kid looped some heavy metal music slowed right down through his sound system, it was pretty scary! – and I wanted a statement whilst I waited for the SOCO boys to come and take prints. And then his aunt and uncle walked in, and the aunt was Viv, done up to the nines, glittering with diamonds and all. And I assume her husband, or boyfriend.” He stared gloomily into his mug of coffee.

“Or, if the kid’s uncle and aunt, might have been her brother. Did you ask?”

“No, I put in for a transfer. I couldn’t compete with the sort of lifestyle she seems to have; how she must have laughed at me for taking her for a burger!”

“And yet she went on another date with you,” said Chaz. “Speaking as someone from the sort of lifestyle you describe, and since she seems to have given no clues about her apparent wealth, it sounds as if she’s trying to make it on her own.”

“Well, I’ve burned my boats now,” said Pete, gloomily.

Chaz said nothing, but later that day he drove into Collingham, and went to the police station.

“Could I speak to a sergeant named Vivienne Parkley?” he said.

“Sure,” said the desk sergeant. “Come on into an interview room, vicar; they aren’t impressively comfortable.”

Presently a good-looking blonde woman came in.

“What’s the problem, reverend?” she asked.

“I understand you might have a boyfriend called Pete, and he might have been scared off by the bloke he saw you with the other night,” said Chaz.

“Oh, hell,” said the sergeant. “I was out with my brother-in-law because he needed an escort, and my sister is in hospital with problems with her pregnancy. I wasn’t two-timing Pete.”

“He’s got the idea that he couldn’t compete with your lifestyle,” said Chaz, mildly.

“My lifestyle? It’s the same as any sergeant in the police, overworked and underappreciated,” said Vivienne. “Yes, I come from a wealthy family, but I don’t play the politics game, and I am making my own way.”

“Well, good for you, but you really need to tell him, you know,” said Chaz.

“He’s avoiding me.”

“Then you’d better get down to Lingley and see him,” said Chaz.

 

Two days later, Pete was wearing a smile large enough for three.

“Thanks, reverend,” he said.